Back To You
by Mizzswan
Summary: Mary and Francis have not been in each others presence in two years after a bad break up. So, when he flies in from Paris to come to his mother's charity banquet, it puts Mary on edge. *Modern au.*
1. Chapter 1

_-10 Years Ago-  
_  
The sky is painted black, filled to its rim with soft speckles of stars. On a normal day, Mary and her friends would sit out here on the roof of her house and stare up at it and talk about something on the borderline of nonsense. Tonight they are quiet. _  
_

"Oh Lola, please be careful," Greer's voice cut through Mary's thoughts and she sticks her hands out for Lola to grab onto.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Lola insists, climbing out the window and trying not to put too much pressure on her wrapped up ankle, she reaches for her crutches but decides against grabbing them as she hops over to sit between Mary and Kenna. She sighs heavily, resting her head on Mary's shoulder.

"Your phone is ringing," Lola says softly but Mary just shrugs.

"It has been for the last hour," Mary says it just as softly, she doesn't even have to look to know who it is. It's Francis. He's been calling on and off since earlier and Mary has been ignoring him. She should really get back to him, it's likely he heard about the accident, probably picturing Mary on a slab of metal in a morgue or something. There is a morgue, but it is not her who inhabits it.

Lola grabs the phone buzzing by Mary's leg and answers it.

"Francis…" Lola says softly and then there's a pause, "She's not really talking to anyone at the moment…" Another pause, "We're fine. Just a few bruises and I broke my ankle. But-" He doesn't let her finish and she swallows her words for another pause, this one longer and okay, she should have answered him before. After it happened, Mary should have answered the phone but the shock and...all the blood. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him and she doesn't even know why that is.

"Aylee didn't make it," Lola says, cutting through whatever he was saying. "She's...dead, Francis." It's how she says it that brings it all rushing back up. The car slamming into something, the sudden shatter of glass, looking up and seeing that Aylee was no longer in her seat anymore. Mary swore she saw her put her seatbelt on but maybe she didn't, maybe she unbuckled to reach for something but she can't remember.

She remembers the blood all over her hands as she tried to press the back of her friends' skull together, keep the remnants of her brain within the safe confinements of her blonde head. The soft, "I don't want to die" on Aylees lips, words rushing out in one breath and then she was gone, pupils were blown wide and grey eyes staring up at the sky. It took Mary forever to wash her hands, she's not sure if she scrubbed hard enough, she swears she can still feel it like a sticky paste on her fingers. Will it ever go away?

Mary jumps when Lola hands her phone back, smiles softly as she leans her head back against Mary's shoulder and Kenna weaves her fingers with Mary's, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"He's coming over isn't he?" Mary asks softly.

"He just wants to make sure we're okay." Lola says, "You especially." At this point Kenna would make a joke about Mary and Francis, how obvious it as that they loved each other, how they should be together, or at least having some _fun_ ; God if only she knew. Kenna is silent though, just leans her head against Mary's shoulder too.

They all jump at the sudden sound of the window being reopened, and then there he is, standing in her bedroom, peaking out.

"You guys are going to get sick if you're out here for too long," Francis says simply and her friends start to move. Lola is first, Francis being mindful of her ankle as he helps her inside.

"Help her down the stairs, Bash is in the kitchen." He says softly to Kenna and then Mary is alone. She hasn't moved, she's not sure if she can.

"Mary." Francis says softly, "Come on, you're next." She doesn't move and then she hears him sigh, then a few seconds later she feels something heavy gets thrown around her shoulders.  
"Did you take my comforter off my bed?" She asks, turning her head to look at him and he just shrugs as he sits next to her.

"I don't want you to get sick." He says simply and as the breeze starts to pick up, she wraps him in it too. He pulls her against him as his arm snakes around her waist, being careful to not touch the huge bruise on her side. "I'm sorry about Aylee." He says after a few beats of silence and she swallows the lump in her throat.

"Me too…" She says softly, Aylee didn't deserve what she got. If anyone out of all of them deserved the chance to live a hundred more years it was Aylee. She deserved more than the sixteen years she was given. "We shouldn't have been driving on that road…"

"Don't do that." Francis brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear, "Not your fault."

"Feels like my fault."

"Well, it's not." He says, he's trying to make it better, and in a normal situation, having Francis next to her usually helped. This isn't a normal situation though, it's not every day she has to hold her friend while she stutters and convulses on the street. "You had me worried today."

"I'm sorry."

"My mother said you were in an accident and she said someone died…" Mary squeezes her eyes shut as she realizes why he's been calling her all day. He actually thought she might have died.

"I'm sorry, Francis." She whispers.

"It's alright, just please, make sure someone is able to tell me it's not you in the body ba-" He stops, doesn't say it. She's looking at him, and he runs a hand through his hair. "Sorry…"

"It's fine…"

Eventually, he coaxes her inside, going first to help tug her back in through the window. And then it's a team effort to get her blanket through, tossing it back on the bed.  
"See? Nice and warm." Francis says as he closes the window and Mary smiles a tiny smile as she steps back into him. His arms go around her instantly and they stand there for a little while before he attempts to pull away, her fingers are curled tightly in his shirt and she tugs him back to her.

"Mary, we should really go downstairs…" He says softly but he doesn't try to pry himself from her grasp. She nods, but she doesn't move. If they stay up here alone in her bedroom, her friends will start to get suspicious. She steps a little closer until her body is completely against him and he's so warm, so warm and then she's tilting her head up, catching the side of his mouth with hers and he smiles against her lips, tilting to get a better angle and to press his lips against hers _correctly_.

He doesn't even question it, it doesn't take him by surprise anymore. He just leans into it like it's second nature. They seem to always end up here, despite not really knowing how it even started, or what it is they're even doing. But they always wind up with their hands on each other, their lips smashed together.

Mary's arms go around his neck and as the kiss deepens, her lips part and Francis takes full advantage of that. Her hands slide down his chest to his belt, she just wants to _touch_ him. His hand always finds it's way below her waistband, but she notices tonight he isn't doing any of that. Instead, he grabs hold of her wrist before she can do anything, breaks the kiss, and steps back.  
"Mary…"

"What?" She asks softly. Why does he always stop? He always stops them before it can go too far before they can shed any clothing.

"You're grieving...I…" He shakes his head, "I wouldn't feel right." He says softly and she understands. He doesn't want to think he's taking advantage of her vulnerabilities.

"Okay…" She says softly and he presses a kiss to her forehead. He grabs her hand and tugs her to the door.

And just like all the times before, they don't talk about it.  
They just move on.

* * *

 _-Present Day-  
_

"I know you tried to reschedule, but Catherine isn't taking any new clients right now," Mary says as she unlocks her car, phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear. She's trying to be careful not to break her ankle on the ice as she opens the door, nodding along to the man on the other end. "My condolences for your daughter, Gideon, but Catherine is still a very busy woman. I can try to get you in next month." She says softly, rolling her eyes at his insistence that he be allowed in this afternoon. Which can't be done, because Catherine is meeting with someone all afternoon. "I'll see what I can do." She sighs, "There's a charity banquet next week, I can send you an invite. And maybe you can try to catch her attention there. I have to go, bye." Mary hangs up before he can agree or disagree and jots down his email address before pulling out of her apartment complex.

The snow is coming down pretty hard this morning, she squints as she passes houses decorated with pretty Christmas lights. She wonders if Kenna still has her Halloween decorations up, she knows she's pretty terrible at taking them down and when Mary was over for Thanksgiving, she still had styrofoam tombstones in her front lawn. Mary sends Catherine a quick text about how she may be late as she pulls into the coffee place to pick up Catherine's usual order.

She was right about being late though, she gets stuck behind a school bus halfway to work. As she drums her fingers on the steering wheel she swears she sees him out of the corner of her eye, but that would be impossible.

He isn't here anymore and it's still so hard to get used to. Mary shakes her head, takes a sip of her coffee.

Now she's standing in front of an elevator, coffee's in hand as she waits for the ding, it doesn't arrive and Mary nearly jumps out of her skin when Catherine suddenly appears behind her.

"You're late," Catherine says as she reaches for her coffee and Mary nods.

"It's snowing pretty hard out there."

"Hm.: Catherine hums her acknowledgment and lets Mary's tardiness go and then she turns down the hallway with her at her heels. "Anything I should be aware of?"

"Last weeks budget meeting revealed there wasn't much of a change but it is lower than this time last year." Mary says, "And uh, Gideon Blackburn has called for you several times since last week."

"Did you tell him I'm busy?"

"Yes but he's very insistent on meeting with you"  
"I'm not too keen on meeting with a man who didn't bother to cancel the last meeting he never showed up for."

"His daughter died." Mary supplies softly and Catherine's usually stone cold expression, softens just a tiny bit.

"Still." She says, "I am sorry for that, but I can't let a no-show slide. Send him a basket of some nice fruit or something." She says with a wave of her hand. Well, that's the end of that. "Is that all?"

"I need a list of everyone you want _specifically_ at the Banquet on Saturday."

"All of my children." Catherine says, "Yes, that means Claude as well. Find her a nice dress, I won't have a repeat of last year." Claude showed up to the Banquet wearing something akin to a streetwalker. Black leather and tight, short, so revealing no one even paid attention to the donations. Mary nods, Catherine reaches in her pocket, jots something down on a sticky note and sticks it to the side of Mary's cup.

"What's this?" She asks, noticing the number but not recognizing it.

"Francis' number, I assume you don't have it." She says coldly. Mary's stomach does an involuntary flip-flop and she nearly drops her coffee.

"Um...No, I don't."

"Hm." Catherine says, "Schedule his flight."

"Can't he do it himself?" Mary doesn't mean to sound harsh and god does she wish she hadn't just snapped at Catherine of all people, the woman knows how to make people disappear.

"Yes." Catherine says, "But of the many luxuries of having a mother who has a person hired to do her bidding, he doesn't have to. Does this bother you?"

"No…" She says softly

"Good." She says with a sweet smile that oozes something sinister, "Besides, it's the least you can do after what you put him through." It cuts like a knife. It always did when Catherine reminded her of the damage she caused her son. Her favorite son at that. She doesn't say anything else, Catherine taps the sticky note with his number scribbled on it and goes to her office. 

Mary spends a long time just staring at it on her desk, admiring Catherine's handwriting as she drummed her fingernails on the surface. She bit at her nails, pulled at her hair. She can't do this, she can't call him. She texts someone who can.

 **Mary:** " _If I give you flight information, can you get it to Francis?"_

 **Bash:** _"Why me?_ "  
 **Mary:** _"Catherine wants me to call him myself and I can't."_ His next message takes a little longer to arrive and Mary jumps at the ding. When she opens it, it's just a number. She already has his number, it's on a sticky note in Catherine's handwriting. Another ding and she jumps again.

 **Bash:** _"You can do it, Mary, just call him."_

 **Bash:** _"He misses you."_ She straightens at that. She's sure it's a typo because Francis doesn't miss her. He doesn't. He hates her, the last time she saw him was two years ago when they broke up. Mary hurt him, she caused him irreparable damage and she's regretted it ever since. Francis cut her out completely, making sure he only flew in to visit family and stayed far far away from her. He's managed to go two years without seeing or speaking to her. She can't blame him for that, but he doesn't miss her.

 **Mary:** _"That's not…"_

 **Mary:** _"That's not funny, Bash."_

 **Bash:** _"Mary, just call him…"_

She sets her phone down and leans back in her chair. She just has to give him the flight info and then that'll be it. She's sure he won't prolong the conversation, he may even hang up once he realizes it's her. Mary sighs, taking a few more steady breaths before she grabs the phone and dials the damn number. What time is it in Paris anyway? It's six in the morning here, he can't be that far ahead of them. She did the math and it's about mid-afternoon there.

"Please don't answer…" She whispers, "Don't answer…" If he doesn't she can just tell Catherine he was unavailable and Catherine may call instead. Maybe he isn't answering because he doesn't know the number. It rings and rings and rings.

And then he answers.

"Hello?" His voice cuts into her. It doesn't sound cold or angry, heartbroken. He just sounds like Francis, he sounds normal. "Hello, anyone there?" She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out and she hears him shift wherever he is. She goes to say hello, or his name, she's not really sure but it comes out strained. Like someone has her hand firmly wrapped around her throat.

"I don't have time for this." He breathes and then she hears something else, "So...bye I guess."

"Francis." It comes out quickly before she can stop it.

"Mary?" He questions. She hears his sharp intake of breath, hears him shift again and she swears he almost hangs up on her, but he doesn't. She swallows. Someone really should have warned him.

"Hi…" She says softly, mentally kicks herself for it.

"How the hell...who gave you...Mary?" He wants to know who gave him her number, he worked hard to make sure she didn't get it after he changed it. She doesn't even know his email address. He wanted nothing to do with her, and again she can't really blame him.

"Your mother wanted me to schedule your flight...so…"

"You don't have to do that…"

"I already did."

"Will you be picking me up from the airport as well?" He asks, his voice taking on a slight edge and she frowns.

"No…" She says softly, "It's at six in the morning next week. _Charles De Gaulle international_ , the ticket is already paid for so just give them your name."

"Alright."

"If you have any questions, you know just-"

"Yeah, thanks, Mary." He says quickly and then the line goes dead. Well, they lasted longer than she thought they would. It went well, she thinks as she puts her head down on her desk. As well as expected, the man sounded like he'd rather be talking to the devil than to Mary. She swallows again, the lump reforming. She wills herself not to cry, it's been a while since she's cried over Francis. Hearing his voice again after so long, it certainly stirs everything back up.

* * *

The sky is just starting to turn black by the time she gets home, Catherine let her off early so she could go find a suitable dress for Claude. Mary hangs it on the back of her bedroom door, unzips it from its bag, and snaps a photo.

 **Mary:** _"it covers but it's form fitting."_

 **Claude:** _"Perfect. I knew I could count on you not turning me into a Nun."_

 **Mary:** _"You can pick it up at my office tomorrow morning."_ Claude doesn't reply, she hardly ever does, hopefully, she remembers to pick it up. Mary sighs as she kicks off her shoes, tries hard not to think about Francis any more than she already has been. Hearing his voice today made her think about how close they used to be. How their life would be now if she hadn't let him go. She finds herself in front of her dresser, hand searching the back of the drawer for something and then her fingers close around a black box. A Pear cut diamond ring nestled safely inside. She really shouldn't have kept it, she should have given it to him the day he left for Paris, but the thought of taking it off at that time. It made her sick. Mary watches it sparkle in the dim light of her bedroom and then snaps it shut when she hears her phone ring. She shoves it back in the back of her dresser.

"What?" She asks as she crawls on her bed, lying down and looking out the window. The city lights twinkle, some Christmas lights mixed in from the more suburban areas. She moved here after he left, out of her mother's house with the roof she used to sit on with her friends, with the memories of Francis. Her apartment is _large_ , it's bigger than she would have wanted, with fancy furniture and big windows, but if you work for Catherine you have to " _Live like I'm paying you well."_

"You sound enthusiastic," Kenna says dryly, "We're outside your door, babe, let us in."

"Kenna, I really don't feel much like-"

"Hm. Yeah. Greer says too bad."

"Kenna-"  
"I brought pizza and wine, open the door." Mary rolls her eyes as she slides out of bed and goes to answer the door. Kenna strolls inside setting the pizza on the countertop of the breakfast bar. Lola gives her an apologetic look as she sets the wine bottle next to it.

"I'll never get over how nice this place is." Kenna huffs, "I'm so jealous."

"Don't be, it's-"

"Lonely?" Greer finishes it for her, "I told you to get a pet."  
"I was going to say expensive," Mary says softly, watching Kenna pull the curtains open, revealing more city lights outside. The window stretches from the lounge area to the start of the kitchen. She hates it, it's too big that's why the curtain is never open and then Kenna plops herself down on the couch.

"Do you ever have sex against this?" She asks, making little hearts in the fog on the window.

"No," Mary says as she opens the pizza. She can't even remember the last time she _had_ sex, it definitely wasn't recent and it definitely wasn't here. She did date someone after Francis but it was so brief she's not even sure she can call it dating. And in the end, he left her for her cousin, saying something about Mary still being too hung up on Francis and she needed to move on before pursuing anyone else. Which stung, but it was true and she hasn't been with anyone since. Hasn't even entertained the thought.

"Wow, not using this place to its full potential." Kenna huffs.

"How was work, Mary?" Lola asks as she helps her get some plates down from the cupboard. "It was nice of Catherine to let you off a little earlier."

"Yeah well…" Mary shrugs. "We were mostly just scrambling around trying to make last-minute deadlines before the Banquet Saturday."

"Still think you should take a date," Greer says with a smirk.

"I'm not taking a date."

"You gotta get back out there…"

"I'm perfectly fine on my own." Mary says softly and since they're talking about it, she might as well tell them, "Something happened today."

"Do tell."

"I talked to Francis." She says softly and the oxygen gets sucked out of the room as everyone's eyes turned to her.

Oh boy, this will be fun.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, it's my first Reign story. Obviously, it's a modern au. It's a pretty slow start but I promise it gets better. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

_-10 Years Ago-_

"We should probably get going if we want to make it in time," Greer says softly as she straps her shoes.

"It doesn't start for another hour," Lola says as she hands Kenna another marker, back against the couch with her legs stretched out, Kenna lying on her stomach as she draws on Lola's cast.

"Okay but traffic."

"Mary is waiting," Lola says

"For?"

"She's waiting for her Francis." Kenna doesn't miss a beat. And well, she isn't wrong. Someone has to drive them and that just happens to be Bash, why wouldn't Francis come too? They're all going to the same destination. Mary turns her phone over in her fingers, waiting for a ring that probably won't come.

"I'm actually waiting for a call from my mother." Mary says softly, "And we're waiting for Bash."

"Who will bring Your Francis, no doubt." Mary rolls her eyes at Kenna and they all jump at Lola's sudden shout.

"Kenna!" She scolds, "Don't draw _that_ on my cast!" Kenna giggles.

"Sorry, I'm twelve."

"Scribble. It. Out." Lola says through clenched teeth and the air is filled with soft giggles and the sound of marker scraping against hospital gauze.

"What did she-" Mary doesn't finish the question, it's Kenna.

"I'm sorry I just love human anatomy."

"The male anatomy," Lola mutters. Mary checks her phone again but there's nothing and Greer pats her knee sympathetically. The door swings open and in walks Bash with Francis.

"You girls ready?" He asks with a quirk of his brow and Kenna grabs Lola's crutches and helps her up.

"Mary is waiting for a phone call from her mom," Greer says as she rises and Mary stands too.

"Still? It's been sixteen years." Bash says and usually, jokes about her mother's neglectful nature would make Mary laugh. Today it doesn't, today it just hurts.

"Dude," Francis says with a glare, taking in the way Mary doesn't smile, doesn't even look like she found it remotely funny and she's sure her hurt showed on her face.

"I'm sorry," Bash says softly.

"It's alright, she just promised is all…" Her daughter got in an accident that killed her close friend, the least the woman can do is call.

The service is long, it stretches to its sixth hour before finally ending and Francis has to pretty much carry her inside because her feet are killing her.

"You could have taken these off, you know," he says as he dumps her on the couch, kneels down and removes her heels with a swift flick of his wrist.

"That's not very ladylike…"

"It's a funeral." He says, making a face and she rolls her eyes. He's a guy, guys don't understand. Her mother taught her when she was young to wear her heels proudly, and should the occasion call for it, to wear them as long as possible.

"Still." She says softly, sticking her hand out, finding his curls. He hates when people mess with his hair, but he lets her do it. She sighs heavily, holds his gaze for a little while but then he breaks it. His fingers find her wrist and he tugs her up so she can sit straighter and then he's sitting next to her. Mary leans her head against his shoulder and they're quiet for a little while.

"Aylee's dead…" She supplies even though he knows, he was at the funeral.

"Yeah." He says softly, "Yeah she is…" Mary leans into him some more and he intertwined his fingers with hers. It's so weird to think about, Aylee being dead. Just last night she saw a funny video that she knew her friend would love and nearly sent it, only stopping because of the sharp pain that went through her chest when she realized her finger was hovering over Aylee's name. Would it always be like this? Would she always find herself forgetting that she's gone? What would it be like in ten years? Would she even think about her? Or would she be pushed so far in the back of her memory she doesn't even dream about it?

"She's in a better place," Francis says softly, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, running his thumb over her knuckles. She nods but she doesn't acknowledge it, she hopes that it's true. If there's a heaven, Aylee deserved to be there.

"I can't…" She swallows, "The last conversation I had with her was so insignificant...you know?" She says softly and even if he has no idea what she's saying, he nods anyway. They were sitting on the roof with Lola, Greer, and Kenna. They were talking about boys. Or listening to Kenna talk about boys and then getting to tease Lola about some Colin guy. It wasn't much, mostly consisted of Aylee's giggles and blushes. Kenna's sudden comments about Mary and Francis. But they don't know the extent of it, of Mary and Francis. What they do behind closed doors is no one's business but their own, a perfectly kept secret. Entirely their own.

She should ask him at some point what all of it meant, what they were doing, do they slap a label on it? Do they need to? They do everything normal couples do, it's just missing the label. She almost does, but she swallows the question and instead she shifts.

"I need to change…" She says softly and he nods. Then she's standing, but falls back on the couch with a soft, "Ow."

"I told you to take them off." He says as he gets up, "Maybe Lola will let you borrow her crutches." He says with a smirk and she glares at him as he holds his hands out.

"Shut up."

"Do you want me to help you to your room or not?" He asks and she takes his hands with a groan. The man doesn't even try to hide his amusement, smiling the way that reached his eyes and lit his face up.

"It's not funny."

"It's a little funny."

"Whatever, just help me." She says and he makes a face, "Please?" He's still smiling but he nods and helps her to her room and instead of changing she just plops down on her bed, lying back and he lies down too.

She runs her finger over his cheek, brushes his hair behind his ear and he turns his head to kiss her palm softly.

"Thank you for taking care of me." She says softly.

"Thank you for _letting_ me take care of you." It's quiet again, but it's comfortable and he opens his mouth to say something else but she shakes her head to stop him. She doesn't want to talk anymore, she just wants to lay here with him. And that's what they do, they lay there for a while, but laying there turns into something else.

As it always did.

She has no idea who inched closer first, whose lips touched whose first, whose hands reached first. It doesn't really matter anymore anyway, at this point there's no use in trying to figure it out. Mary just leans into it.

He doesn't stop this time.

They don't talk about it.

* * *

 _-Present Day-_

"Was it...nice?" Kenna asks as she pours Mary a glass of wine because she needs it. "Brief but nice?"

"He sounded like he'd rather be sucked up a propeller and chopped into tiny pieces than speak to me." Mary says softly, "But he wasn't mean?" There was only one instance where he sounded annoyed, irritated.

"At least he didn't hang up on you?" Kenna says it like a question. Mary sighs again.  
"He didn't…" Not until he got what he needed. Once she was done giving the information for his flight, he did hang up on her. Probably called Catherine immediately after to demand why she gave Mary his number, why she thought that was a good idea.

"It's a start," Greer says with a shrug

"So he's coming back?" Lola asks and Mary shakes her head.

"Only for a few days, it's not permanent."

"Hey it's long enough," Kenna says with a smirk, "Long enough to get _reacquainted_ with Your Francis." Mary shakes her head again. If she gets any alone time with him the few days he's here, she's giving him the ring back and that's it. No reacquainting necessary. She wishes Kenna wouldn't refer to Francis like that around her anyways, _Your Francis_ , he isn't hers anymore. She didn't copyright him. She knows it'll be hard to get used to considering she always said it, even before they were anything.

"No," Mary says softly, "I plan on staying out of his way." They all turn their heads when Lola snorts. She straightens, clears her throat before speaking.

"Mary, the venue will be large and it would certainly be easy to avoid him but the two of you tend to...gravitate towards each other, no matter the situation." Lola says, "So, you plan on staying away from him but I don't think…" She trails off, "Good luck."

"She's right."

"Greer." Mary says softly, "I-"  
"The only reason you've been able to stay away from each other for this long is that he's in another country most of the time." Greer sighs as she pats Mary on the head, "Good luck with that, buddy."

"What even happened?" Lola asks suddenly and Mary tenses. She never told them. The only other person who knew was Catherine, he had to keep the ring with someone until he was ready for it. Bash knew as well, only because Francis confides in him. Mary picks at her pizza, shrugs. It's been so long since she's had to talk about it, had she even talked about it with anyone? Catherine but that was mostly listening to her patronizing words than really talking about it.

"Uh…" Mary says softly, shrugs. "It wasn't some big blow up if that's what you're thinking. No affairs, secret children…"

"Then what-"

"He asked me to marry him." She says softly and she doesn't meet their eyes, "And I said yes."

"Wow, scandal," Kenna says sarcastically and Lola clamps a hand over her mouth, gesturing for Mary to continue.

"It wasn't that." Mary says glaring at her friend, "He got that job offer in Paris right after and I told him to take it. He wanted me to come with him but I couldn't just pick up and move like that. And I couldn't let him throw away a once in a lifetime opportunity for me."

"Oh…"

"And so he thought we'd still be together just distant but, that wasn't going to work, not with everything we wanted to do." She shrugs, "So I delivered quite the blow the day he had to leave." She swallows the lump forming in the back of her throat, takes a drink. They don't say anything for a while, it's so quiet. Mary can't believe she never told them any of it.  
"Do you regret it?" Lola asks softly.

"Of course she regrets it!" Kenna exclaims, "You do, right?"

"Yes…" Mary says softly. She regrets it every day, every second she isn't next to him and she would give anything to go back and do it over again, to be completely selfish and ask him to stay even if he'd resent her for the rest of their lives; at least he wouldn't hate her so much. It's quiet again and no one speaks but she can feel their eyes on her like they want her to say something else. She doesn't, she just sits on the floor with her back against the couch, picking at her pizza.

Kenna shifts beside her and pours wine in a plastic cup and hands it to her with a sad smile.

"You need it." She says softly and Mary takes it.

"I thought…" Mary shakes her head, "I thought he'd at least stay in touch. I expected him to not really be up for talking immediately after but...he just never let me back in."

"Yeah." Lola nods sympathetically, gesturing for her to continue, but she doesn't. She just wishes so badly that she could still have a little of him. But he left and she had none of him.

After a few glasses of wine, they all leave and Mary doesn't bother cleaning up as she wipes off her makeup and dresses for bed. She spends too long staring up at the ceiling, and then thumbing through her call logs, finding the unknown number she knows to be Francis and she almost calls it. She knows that's not a good idea though, it's probably pretty late where he is by now anyway and he could be sleeping. Not that he'd appreciate hearing from her again today.

Bash said that he missed her and she wonders if that's true or if it was just something to say to get her to call him. It seems unreal for him to miss her, two years of silence, two years of him visiting his family every couple of months and never once coming to at least see how she's doing. It has not been two years and two months of missing her, it's been two years and two months of avoiding her.

Mary closes her eyes, tries desperately to just stop the waves from crashing into her, but they do; they always do. She swallows the lump in her throat, but it just rises again and it turns into bile and next thing she knows she's spewing wine and greasy pizza bits in the toilet.

When she's done with that she takes a long shower and then tries to sleep again.

* * *

The rest of the week drags on and she doesn't hear much more on Francis, Catherine just lets her know when he flew in. The night of the banquet approaches and she spends an awfully long time on her bed staring at her dress. It's floor length, dark blue, with an open back. A combination of professional and sexy, of course, it is, Kenna helped her pick it out.

She should be getting ready, she should be putting on her dress, putting on her makeup, doing her hair, but she can't move. She can't seem to get off the bed so instead, she grabs her phone and enters the group chat her and her friends never really use anymore.

 **Mary:** _"I can't do this."_

 **Lola:** _"Yes, you can!"_

 **Kenna:** " _You'll be fine."_

 **Mary:** _"Francis is going to be there."_

 **Greer:** _"As you said. Mary, it's going to fine, just face your fears."_

 **Greer** _: "We're here for you either way."_

 **Kenna:** _"Yes even if we can't be there with you physically, I will send you very encouraging gifs the whole time :)"_

 **Kenna:** " _Also what's up with that, dude? Where're our invites?"_

 **Mary:** _"I think I've had three panic attacks."_ She sighs, runs a hand through her hair and looks at the clock, she has two hours to get ready. If she doesn't start now, she'll be late and Catherine won't be very happy with her if she is.

 **Kenna:** _"Hey, could you do me a favor?"_

 **Mary:** " _Kenna, I have to start getting ready."_

 **Kenna:** _"Girl sneak a picture of Francis in his tux because like…"_ She then sends a string of fire emoji's and Mary rolls her eyes.

 **Lola:** " _You're going to be fine, Mary, maybe he'll want to talk."_ Maybe he'll want to talk. About what? What could he possibly want to talk to her about? Greer asks that she keeps them updated on what's happening and then Mary tosses her phone and gets dressed.

The venue is large, the ballroom filled with dozens of tables and high arching windows, big chandeliers. Even with all the lights, it's still slightly dim inside and even with all the tables and seating places, it's still quite spacious. By the time she gets inside, the place is packed to the brim of people and it takes her some time to find Catherine. She finds her in the back with someone, a man with short brown curls and a kind enough face, but the look in his eyes makes her stomach flip.

"Mary, you remember Tomas?" Catherine says, pushing her towards him and into their conversation. He smiles at her.

"I do, it's nice to see you again." Mary smiles back, she remembers him well. Remembers the way his hand snaked up her skirt under the conference table the last time she saw him.

"He was just telling me how his father turned his company over to him last month." Catherine explains and then she leans into her ear, "Play nice I need his money and he fancies you." Then she's gone, off to mingle with more guests and charm them into writing a few extra checks. There she goes again, pimping Mary out, something Francis never really appreciated. Not that Mary did either.

She's too busy scanning the room in search of a certain someone to realize Tomas has placed his hand on the small of her back and is steering her towards the table with the charity boxes. They're all lined up side by side, ready for people to drop money in the one of their choosing. He does not remove his hand when they reach the table.

"It's so difficult to choose one." He says, pulling her a little bit closer, he begins to tell her about each one, like he doesn't know that she helped Catherine choose.

Mansplaining. It is very much alive. Mary smiles as she listens to what she already knows, nodding every now and again. She feels her phone vibrate in her bag and she digs it out when he isn't looking.

 **Lola:** _"Have you seen Francis?"_

 **Mary:** _"Nope."_

 **Greer:** _"Praying for you."_

"They all sound so lovely, I can see why it would be difficult to choose. But you're a wealthy man, you can donate to all of them." She smiles sweetly as she drops her phone back in her bag, tries not to swat at his hand as his fingers dig deeper into her side. She's about to ask him to let go when her eyes drift passed him across the room. There's Francis, smiling, chatting with his brother and it's like he senses her staring at him because his blue eyes turn to her and his smile fades.

"Mary, you seem distracted," Tomas says softly and she tries to move away but he tugs her back to him. At least he does it gently, at least he does it in a subtle way, to Francis it may look like she pressed herself to him. She's sure that's it, why else would he be looking at her like that? She looks away.

"I...should go see what Catherine is up to, she may need help with something-" Her words are cut off by a harsh tug, fingers digging just a little more into her side and she's sure it'll leave tiny bruises. The nerve, the audacity of this man to do that in a room full of people.

"Catherine is fine." He says with a smile, "Please stay. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be left alone."

"I think she'll manage without you." Mary straightens at the sound of that voice, she knows that voice. "My mother needs to speak to you," Francis says but his eyes don't leave Tomas.

"About?" Tomas asks

"Wasn't aware that was your business." He says with a smile, it's a smile but it's tense. "Wedding planning."

"Wedding?"

"Yes, come with me Mary, you shouldn't keep your soon to be mother in law waiting." She goes to move.

"You're…" He looks between them, "Right." He drops his arm, "I'm sorry, Francis, I didn't know she was spoken for." Mary doesn't say anything, just lets Francis take her hand and lead her out of the room and to the hallway. Tomas didn't even apologize to her, he apologized to _Francis._

"Are you alright?" He asks and she doesn't answer, eyes drop to their hands. He was still holding it and he notices at the same time she does, and he let's go, steps back.

"Thank you." She says softly, trying to fill the silence and he nods but he doesn't look at her.

"No problem." She doesn't really know what to say now. Does she attempt small talk? Does she turn and leave? Where's the manual? What're the rules here? Francis turns to go back inside.

"Francis." She says quickly and he turns back around slowly, quirks an eyebrow. He waits for a question. "How...are you?" She asks that's a safe question right? It's been two years and all she gets from him was _'No Problem.'_ He blinks, shakes his head like he can't believe she just asked him that.

"Uh…" He swallows and then he laughs, it's a breathy thing, not at all what she's used to hearing. "Yeah...no." He shakes his head again, "We can't, I can't...uh. Have a good night, be careful." And that's all she gets before he turns and walks back in the room.


	3. Chapter 3

_-8 Years Ago-_

He has a tiny on-campus apartment, it's the perfect size for him and how he didn't wind up with at least one roommate is still a wonder to her. Francis has only been here for two months but it feels like he's been gone forever. Guess she's not used to him crashing in her house every day, having him just a few blocks away instead of miles. It's still an adjustment.

Mary props her feet up on the coffee table and watches him sift through a box that still hasn't been unpacked yet.

"How have you been?" She asks and he shrugs.

"Mostly just bored and busy."

"That's quite the combination."

"Yeah well, I don't have you here bugging me every five minutes." He smirks and she pouts, "I didn't mean that as a petty jab, I do miss you."

"I miss you too." She says softly and then she stands and crosses the room to him. "What are you looking for?"

"Uh…" He shrugs, "Something my father gave me but I think I forgot it."

"Bummer."

"Eh." Whatever it was is forgotten and then he's reaching for her and tugging her back to the couch so they can sit together. "So, tell me about you."

"I think you know everything there is to know-"  
"What are you planning on doing? Has your mother gotten back with you?"

"She wants me to go travel with her, though I'm not really sure that's a good plan." He doesn't ask her why, it's not hard to figure out. Mary hasn't seen her mother in so long, only when she decides to drop in unannounced and the last time was nearly a year ago. They don't spend much time together, as soon as Mary was old enough to be left home alone, her mother left to spend her days going to every corner of the world she could and before that Mary spent most of her time being dropped off on Catherine's doorstep. That's why her and Francis are so close, she spent a good chunk of her childhood with him.

"It could be a good way to get to know her." He says, "Maybe she wants to get to know you." Mary shrugs, it could be good for them to spend a few months together or it could be a disaster. Mary isn't sure she can bite her tongue and swallow every question she's ever wanted to ask her mother. Mostly, why? Why did she leave her alone all those years, why didn't she love her?

"I'd have to think about it."

"Where is she this week?"  
"Last time she called she was in Denmark."

"Denmark."

"Yup." Mary sighs, "She called to ask me to send her pictures from graduation." He doesn't say anything, he doesn't have to. He knows her mother and he knows how she can be. She called for the pictures but didn't bother to come and take some for herself.

"At least she called."

"Yeah." Mary says softly and it's quiet, he's not talking now but he is watching her. She leans her head on his shoulder and he shifts so she can wedge herself in his side. "What am I to you?" The question comes out of nowhere and she probably should have eased into it. Even though it's something they should have talked about. A late conversation, a _very_ late conversation that should have been had _years_ ago. This can't just be a friendly thing, friends don't makeout with each other, friends don't just sleep together without strings; maybe if they weren't as close as they had been before it happened, maybe if they were strangers to each other.

"My best friend?" He questions, failing to see what she's trying to ask him.

"Hm." She nods and she fully intended to leave it at that, it's kind of an answer, maybe it was just sex to him, not that she'd mind.

Okay, she minded a little.

Her next question catches even her off guard, it falls out of her mouth before she can stop it.

"What are we doing?"

"Well at the moment we're sitting."

"Francis, that's not what I meant…"

"Hm, you should clarify."

"Are we a thing?"

"A thing is only a thing if you tell me what the thing is."

" _Francis._ " She straightens.

"Mary."

"Are you my boyfriend or not?" It flies out and he blinks at her.

"Yeah." He says and she's honestly surprised he was so casual about it like she asked him if he liked dogs or cats better and now he's looking at her with this _look_. "Kind of figured that's what was happening."  
"You could have told me that."

"Mary I wouldn't undress you if I thought we were anything less." He says with a smirk and she bites her lip. Is that it? Is it supposed to be that easy? He catches her by surprise when he turns her face back to face him and presses his lips to hers.  
Apparently, it is that easy.

She's not sure he intended it to go as far as it does, but eventually, she's pulled in his lap, with her legs on either side of him, hands in each others hair, tongues in each other's mouths, and she's pressing herself to him. She's so lost in it she almost doesn't notice his hand finding the soft skin under her shirt.

She breaks the kiss and he pouts, "Since you like to not tell me things, do you already have our lives together planned out?" she asks.  
"Yes." He smiles and she raises her eyebrows. "We're going to get married in a few years."

"Uh-huh."

"And then we'll have kids. We'll want to start right away, there's no time to waste."

"I think there's a little time to waste."

"We'll have twins!" Francis beams and she almost falls off his lap.

"I don't think that's how that works."

"Hey, this is _my_ imaginary marriage to you, let me live." He says, "A boy and a girl."

"Hmmm." She squints at him but lets him continue. He kisses her cheek and then her neck.

"And it'll be bliss for a few years and then we'll meet our bitter and nasty end in divorce."

"Wow." She laughs, "Can't wait."

"It was either that or one of us dies."

"Wow, okay, _dark._ "

"But...after that." He says softly as he presses softer kisses down her jawline, "We'll come back to each other."

* * *

 _-Present Day-_

Francis is replaced by Catherine, the woman grabs hold of her spins her around to face her. She's _seething_ , she doesn't even try to hide her anger and Mary waits for the blow thinking she's angry with her.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" She asks and Mary gives her a confused look but then she realizes she isn't asking about Francis and she shakes her head. Her side hurts from where his fingers dug into her, but other than that he didn't really do anything. "Good." She breathes and then she brushes Mary's hair back behind her ear, strokes her cheek. "I should rip his spine from his back, he had the audacity to touch you like that." It's so strange, here's Catherine being warm to her. To Mary. When she's been the recipient of her icy words and cold cold stares for so long now.

The change is comforting, though it won't last long.

"I'm fine…" Mary says softly and Catherine drops her hand.

"Stay away from him." She says, "Stay near Francis, he'll make sure he doesn't try anything else." It's really not that bad, she can handle herself. He didn't do anything that warranted the need for Mary to be babysat. She shakes her head.

"I really don't thi-"  
"Not up for negotiation." Catherine says firmly, "Now, fix your makeup you look a mess." And then she's gone, off to mingle once again and Mary goes in search of a bathroom all the while trying to ignore the buzzing in her bag.

 **Kenna:** _"Stuart, status report."_

 **Lola:** " _Did you talk to Francis?"_

 **Greer:** _"She probably doesn't have her phone on."_

 **Mary:** _"I...did."_

 **Kenna:** _"YEEEESSSS"_

 **Lola:** _"How was it?"_

 **Mary:** _"Incredibly awkward…"_

 **Mary:** _"Who knew he could be so cold."_

 **Greer:** _"I'm sorry, you do know who his mother is, right?"_

 **Kenna:** _"I mean I know how you can warm him up."_

 **Mary:** _"No."_

 **Kenna:** _"Sex fixes everything, dude."_

 **Mary:** _"I'm not sleeping with Francis, Kenna."_

 **Mary:** _"Am I supposed to just go up to him and be like 'hey man sorry I broke your heart there's a broom closet somewhere if you wanna go bang it out.' No."_

 **Kenna:** _"No to the heart thing, yes to the closet sex."_

 **Lola:** _"Kenna. Stop it."_ Mary rolls her eyes, grabs some tissues and starts to get to work on her face. Apparently, unbeknownst to her, she had shed a few tears and it's caused mascara to streak down her cheeks. She nearly jumps out of her skin when her phone almost buzzes off the table. She doesn't look to see who it is she just answers it.

"Come outside." It's Francis and she tenses up.

"Huh?"

"Come outside." He says again and she sighs. "I've been tasked with staying with you for the remainder of the night."

"Ah, how knight in shining armor of you." She says sweetly.

"Didn't say I liked it." He says softly, "But I can't in good conscience leave you alone in there."

"I can handle myself."

"Yes it looked like you were handling it pretty well, what with his hand on your ass and whatnot." He says sarcastically, "I'm by the lake, don't take too long."

"Give me a minute." He doesn't say anything else, he just hangs up.

He's outside like he said he was, sitting on a bench overlooking the water. The lights bounce off the waves and she walks slowly.

"You're smoking." She says and he looks over his shoulder at her.

"Trying to quit."

"Looks like it."

"I'll have you know, I was doing great until you called me." He snaps and she tries not to let it show that it hurt but it must because he softens just a little, sighs heavily, "Sorry…"

"It's fine…" She says softly, she was expecting this. It can't feel good for him to see her again after everything. She doesn't make a move towards him, she keeps her feet planted on the grass.

"You can come sit." He says suddenly, turning back around, "I don't bite."

She knows for a fact that he does.

Mary rounds the corner, hugging her coat tighter around her body, she doesn't know if she's cold because of the winter air or if it's Francis. She sits on the edge of the bench, far from him. It's weird the way he is now, he's tense and stiff, not at all relaxed like he used to be when he was next to her. He won't even look at her.

This isn't Francis, not her Francis. She watches him take a drag from his cigarette and she wonders when and how that started, he used to hate it when Bash smoked. Now Bash doesn't and Francis does. Funny how things change.

He leans over and puts it out and then leans back against the bench.

"You asked how I was earlier." He says softly, so softly, "I'm not great."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He says, "It's been two years, I thought if I ran into you it wouldn't hurt this much, but it feels just as bad as the day I left. I was hoping to avoid you, but here you are." He laughs that same breathy laugh as before, "The universe just loves to screw me."

"Francis…" she says softly

"Don't." He says quickly, "Don't apologize. Please." She doesn't. She opens her mouth again but stops herself from saying what she wants to say, she wants to tell him she loves him. She never stopped loving him or thinking about him. She figures though, that he can't stomach those three words so she swallows them like the tiny lump in her throat. "It's hard to breathe, I think you'll be the death of me."

"I think that might be the cigarette." She says softly and he laughs quietly, lips tilt up the way they used to and for a second she gets a glimpse of her Francis but like the smoke from his cigarette, that dissipates too.

"Maybe." He says softly. And then he leans back further, relaxing just a tiny bit but he's still tense. "It's weird, isn't it?" He whispers.

"What?"

"That if things had worked out the way we wanted, we'd be married by now. Maybe have a child on the way. Which is all I ever wanted with you." He shrugs, "We'd be happy together, but instead we're miserable and apart, funny how that works out. Ten years just for it to end in metaphorical bloodshed." She doesn't know what to say to that, so she just opts to stay quiet and after a few seconds, he asks when this ends.

"Eager to go?" She asks.

"Yes."

"Francis, if you don't want to be near me, just go."

"I can't."

"You can. One foot in front of the other." She says and she doesn't mean to sound so harsh but god if he hates her this much she won't force him to stay at her side.

"I can't leave knowing there's a creep in there with you in his damn radar." He snaps and it hits her like a truck because he's never snapped at her with that much intensity before, and he's never looked at her like _that._ Like he wants her to disappear, like he wishes he never met her. "If anything happened to you, I'd feel responsible."

"Why? Because you've been given the job of being my own personal bodyguard?" She snaps back at him.

"No, because I love you." He says it softly but it doesn't feel the same, those words coming out of his mouth they don't feel like Francis was saying it.

"Yeah well…" She swallows, "I'd sooner throw myself at the wolves than sitting here with you for another minute." She stands and he stands too.

"Mary-"  
"No." She says and then she's walking away and she doesn't check if he's following. She's sure he isn't. She keeps her head down as she heads for the bathroom and once she's in the safe confines of those four walls she lets her walls cave in just a little. She doesn't know how long she spends focusing on the collapse of her own chest or the breaking of her own bones but when she's finished she calls Lola.

"Mary, what happened?" She asks, concerned at the sound of her voice.

"What do you think happened?" Mary says softly, "Can you just...I need a ride home…I don't want to be here another second."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming." And she hears the soft jangle of Lola grabbing her car keys, she doesn't get off the phone with her as she drives to get her and Mary doesn't waste a second climbing in her car and slamming the door shut.

"Mary, my god." Lola says taking her chin in hand and turning her face to hers. "I'm going to kill him." She makes a move to get out of the car but Mary grabs hold of her arm, she doesn't want to stir anything up. "What did he say to you?" It's not what he said, it's how he said it.

"He hates me." She whispers, "He said he loves me but he doesn't...it's not…"

"He doesn't hate you."

"You didn't hear him." He said he loves her, but it didn't feel the same. It felt like he was reminding himself that he had loved her at some point in his life like he was trying to relive it for a minute. Like a boring sentence in a book and someone tries to make it sound more meaningful than it actually is. It felt empty.

She knows how it feels to be loved by him, that wasn't it.  
"Can you please just take me home?" She asks softly, not caring if Catherine will be pissed with her for leaving early, and Lola nods despite still really wanting to get out of the car and hunting Francis down.

* * *

Once she's home she tells Lola she wants to be alone. She insists on it actually, waves off Lola's constant soft ' _are you sure you're okays?_ ' Then she finally decides it's best to leave Mary to her own devices, she just plans on going to bed. Mary promises to call her tomorrow morning. She goes straight to her bedroom, kicks off her shoes and crawls on her bed. She doesn't bother changing, doesn't even bother washing her makeup off, she just closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. Only to be woken an hour later by her phone ringing and again she doesn't look as she answers.

"Where are you?" Francis asks. She really needs to start checking before she answers the phone.

"Pardon?" She asks, clearing her throat to get some of the grogginess out.

"I've been looking all over for you. Where are you?" She rubs at her eyes, then mentally kicks herself for that when she pulls the heel of her hand away to see it smudged in black. Why is he looking for her anyways?

"I left."

"I can see that."

"Then why-"

"Because Tomas left too." He says, "Are you with him?" She scoffs.

"Excuse me?"

"This isn't me being jealous, Mary, please. If he so much as breathes next to you, I'll-"

"He's not with me." She says softly and then it's quiet and she thinks maybe he hung up, but then she hears him sigh too, "I'm home alone. Which I'm sure you take pleasure in."

"Mary I-"  
"Night, Francis." She says and then she's the one who hangs up on him.


	4. Chapter 4

_-7 Years Ago-_

He's on break for the holidays so they're sitting on the floor of her house trying (and failing) to untangle a string of lights.

"How long have you had these?" Francis asks after a few frustrating minutes and she shrugs. She found them in a box in the attic. She doesn't really remember a time her mother decorated for the holidays, or when she was even here for them. Mary's just surprised she even had some.

"Do they even work?" He asks

"I don't know…"

"So we've been attempting to detangle these and you don't even know if they work?" He says with a quirk of his brow.

"Maybe…"

"Okay," He sighs and then he tosses them, "You," he grabs hold of her ankles and pulls. Hard. She slides right under him with a yelp. "Are infuriating."

"Well, you're dating infuriating so, what does that say about you?"

"It helps that you're cute."

" _Cute?_ "

"Mmhmm." He hums and then he's pressing his lips to her and they both are too distracted to hear the door open.

"I fucking knew it!" Kenna shrieks and Francis jumps off of her, pulling Mary up with him, but it's too late. The damage has been done, she already saw them. Kenna gapes at them. What do they say? There's no way to explain their way out of this one. First Lola and now Kenna, at least they had their clothes on this time, poor Lola still can't look Francis in the eye.

"Uuuuhh…" Mary says, "It's exactly what it looks like." She says softly. She might as well own up to it, she already saw them.

"How…" Kenna shakes her head and then she plops down on the floor with them, "How long!?"

"Like three-"

"Months?"

"Years," Francis says softly and she damn near passes out right there.

" _Years!?"_ Her wide eyes turn to Mary, "What?!"

"...Sorry?"  
"You!" She smacks Mary on the back of the head, it's playful so it doesn't hurt, "Didn't." _Hit_. "Tell." _Hit._ "Me?!" _Hit._

"Please stop hitting meeee."

"I'm so confused." Kenna huffs, "How could you not tell me?" They didn't tell anyone, anyone who knows has only found out because of their unfortunate timing. So, so far only Lola knows. And Bash suspects it. But now Kenna knows, so it'll be all over town by morning. She doesn't mind if people know, they don't go to great lengths to hide it, it's just more fun when no one else knows. When it's just theirs.

After the three of them decide to go hunt for actual lights that _work_ , Francis has to leave, figuring he should probably stop by his mother's before she finds out he's in town and comes hunting her golden child down. And then she's alone. With Kenna.

You can probably guess what they're going to talk about.

Kenna is positively beaming next to her, bouncing in her seat, staring at her.

"Yes?" Mary asks as she flips through channels before settling on a documentary on the Tudor Dynasty. It will serve as background noise no doubt.

"So." Kenna starts, "You and Francis."

"Yes me and Francis."

"Is it serious?"  
"Yes," Mary says softly.

"So you're not just goofing around?"

"Nope." Kenna claps her hands together.

"This is exciting." She squeaks and Mary sighs, "I knew it was only a matter of time."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" She says it like she can't believe it would even be a question, "Oh my ship has been sailing for three years and I didn't even know, officially the best day of my life."

"Kenna you can't tell anyone."

"What, why?" She asks, "People should know!"

"Not yet."

"It's been three years, are you planning on telling people with a wedding invitation?"

"Because I _want_ Catherine to poison me in my sleep." She gives her a look, "Please?"

"No, I get it." Kenna nods, "It's hotter when it's a secret." She says with a wiggle of her eyebrows and Mary rolls her eyes. "Have you guys…"

"What?"

"You know."

"...Did...did you see what you walked in on?"

"OHMYGOD" She shrieks, "Talk to me, I need details."

"Uuuhh-"

"Mary." She gives her a pointed look and Mary chews at her lip, she supposes the person to talk to about sex would be Kenna. She has a lot of it.

"Um...okay."  
"Oh my god, you're actually going to." She beams, and Mary turns to face her, sighs deeply.

"I'm not...really sure what to tell you…"

"You're so cute." Kenna ruffles her hair, "Just start with the basics."  
"What are the-"

"What does he do?"

"Uh-"

"Does he top?" She gasps, "Do _you_ top?" She gasps again, "Does he go down!?"

"I can't…" She feels her face heat up and she starts to fidget, "Nope, I can't talk about this. Uh."

"You're in too deep now, babe, let's go. Give me the details, I never get to talk to you about this stuff. I thought you were a virgin...I made so many jokes, dude, come to find out you and Francis have been taking the buddy system too seriously for _years_."

"The buddy system…"

"You owe me this," Kenna says with a smirk and Mary sighs. She supposes there's no getting out of this. She runs a hand through her hair.

"Can it stay between us?"

"Promise."

"No jokes?"

"No, ma'am."

"No...indirect comments in the presence of another soul?"

"Pinky promise." Kenna says as she holds up her pinky, "I, Kenna, will take this to my grave."  
"Okay…" Mary laughs and they almost lock pinkies but Kenna pulls back for a second.  
"He doesn't have any weird fetishes, does he?"

"No."

"Okay great." They lock pinkies and Kenna instantly hits her with a million _explicit_ questions running a mile a minute.

What did she get herself into?

* * *

 _-Present Day-_

Mary watches Greer wipe down the bar, it's the end of the night and the bar is starting to empty. Lola runs her finger through Roses curls, she's sitting on Mary's lap with a teething ring in her mouth.  
"I thought you weren't supposed to bring babies in the bar?" Mary asks softly, bouncing the little ten-month-old on her lap.

"I didn't have anyone who could watch her last minute and it's my bar. So." Greer shrugs.

"What happened to the sitter?"

"She has the flu." Greer says and then she smiles, "We didn't want my pretty girl to get sick, nooo." She cooed, rubbing her thumb on her daughters tiny knuckles.

"Hey, you finally took your wedding ring off." Lola comments and Greer shrugs again.

"Yeah well, I figured it was about time."

"How's that going?"

"My darling husband has moved far away with his new girlfriend." Greer sighs, "And the divorce gets finalized tomorrow."

"I still can't believe he was cheating on you."  
"I cheated first," Greer says, pointing at her daughter. "I'm not really sure if it counts though because we were separated. But we were still married...so. I don't fault him on it, we just grew apart and I had a baby with another man, that would put the strain on any relationship. I think it's just time we let go."

"I'm glad the two of you can be somewhat civil about it," Mary says softly.

"How was the charity thing?" Greer asks and Lola shakes her head next to her, warning her this isn't a topic Mary wants to discuss. "Oh, it was that bad?"

"She is convinced that Francis hates her."

"Mary, come on."

"Neither one of you were there," Mary says, she doesn't mean to snap. "You didn't see the way he was looking at me."

"Mary, how long have you known each other? What like going on two decades now, the man can't hate you even if he tried." They don't get it. They didn't see it. Mary doesn't say anything and she hopes the conversation can be moved to something else, but then her phone buzzes in her jeans and Francis' name is on her screen.

She debates just deleting it. She can, she can ignore him, that's what he did to her for so long.

But it's Francis, Francis is reaching out. Something she prayed to get for months. So, she opens it.

"Who's that?" Lola asks as she takes the baby from Mary's lap.

"It's Francis-"

" _Is it now?_ " Greer raises her eyebrow and Mary glares.

"Don't start, he probably just wants to yell at me." She says looking down.

 **Francis:** _"Your mother died?"_

 **Francis:** _"Mary, no one told me...when? How?"_ She wants to send back a snarky reply, a _'maybe you should have answered the phone the hundreds of times I called you.'_ she decides against it. She doesn't need to fight with him. He knows what he did.

 **Mary:** _"Yeah, she had cancer."_

 **Mary:** _"She didn't tell anyone though, shocker; died alone. A month after you left, if that."_

 **Francis:** _"I'm sorry if I knew I would have reached out."_

 **Mary:** _"You wouldn't have but I appreciate the lie."_ His next message comes in slower and she doesn't open it, she just deletes it. She doesn't want to know what he had to say to that. Mary sighs, sliding her phone back in her pocket.

"So?"  
"What?" Mary raises her eyebrows.

"What did he want? You can't leave us hanging." Lola says.

"He...just found out my mom died." She shrugs.

"He _just_ found out? Wait, he didn't know?" Greer gapes, "How?"

"He never answered when I called him. I guess no one thought to tell him." She says softly, she wishes someone would have. She knows why Catherine didn't, she told her at the funeral why she didn't. She knew he just needed a reason to come back and then Mary would have to break him all over again.

"I should go." Mary says softly and then she's grabbing her keys, "I have to get up early tomorrow." So they say their goodbyes and then she's heading home.

* * *

It's these dreary, dark mornings that make her realize just how lonely this huge apartment is. Maybe Greer's right, maybe she should get a dog or something. Would she even be allowed? She should look into that. Mary yawns as she waits for the coffee to brew and unhooks her phone from the charger only to notice she has a few missed calls from Francis.

 _Oh, how the tables have turned._

She almost does it, almost blocks his number but she doesn't have it in her to do it. She just goes about getting ready for work. It's just a normal day, she can pretend Francis isn't in town, staying on the street they used to play together on as children. She can pretend he's still in Paris and try her best to not think about him.

She notices it as soon as she flicks the light on, her office being overtaken by the dim glow of the lamp on her desk. She sets her bag down, fingers gliding over the soft pedals. A thin vase with white roses and a card with handwriting she knows all too well. She flips it over.

" _I'm not sure if this makes it any better but I am sorry about your mother. She was a good woman._ _-Francis"_

Well, there went her plan of pretending he wasn't here _and_ he's been in her office. _She was a good woman._ Mary makes a face. That's what she hated most about after her mother died, everyone talked about what a good woman she was. And yeah for other people she may have been great but for Mary; she really wasn't. She certainly wasn't much of a mother to her and Francis knew that also she hates roses, Francis knew that too. It's the thought that counts and Mary appreciated it, she does, but it just makes her more angry than grateful. He can't just do that, he can't bring get her flowers and a card written in pretty handwriting and expect it to be better. She throws it in the trash, the vase and all, but she keeps the card and spends too long tracing the cursive letters of his signature, admiring the way that is looped and curved.

 **Mary:** _"Francis got me flowers because my mom died."_

 **Kenna:** _"He wants between your legs."_

 **Greer:** _"I agree ^^"_

 **Mary:** " _Guys, trust me that's the last thing on his mind."_

 **Lola:** _"What kind of flowers?"_

 **Mary:** _"White roses."_

 **Lola:** _"SO SYMBOLIC"_

 **Mary:** _"Pardon?"_

 **Kenna:** _"White roses are typically used for weddings, sweetie."_

 **Mary:** _"I don't think he cared about the color…"_

 **Kenna:** _"No, he still wants to marry your fine ass."_ Mary rolls her eyes, she doubts that. There's no way, it's been too long. Maybe he has a girlfriend back in Paris. He was just trying to be nice.

 **Greer:** _"How many were there?"_

 **Mary:** _"I don't know, I uh...threw them away."_

 **Kenna:** _"Mary, wtf?"_ She doesn't reply, she has work to do. She continues to trace over his signature with her finger, it's not enough of him but at this point, she'll take what she can get. She wonders what their lives would be like right now if they had stayed together. It's something she's been thinking about more and more as the days go by. Would have kids? Yes. Francis always wanted them, he wouldn't have wanted to wait too long. A little boy or girl with his pretty curls and blue, blue eyes. She shakes the thought from her mind and grabs a stack of paperwork.

Her eyes keep drifting back to the trash can with the flowers still visible inside. She leans over and picks them up, placing them back in it's vase and then setting it back on the corner of her desk. She'll have to remember to put some water back in the vase to keep them alive.

* * *

Mary isn't paying attention as she thumbs through a stack of documents and enters the elevator after hearing the ding. If she knew, she would have taken the stairs. She feels his eyes on her and when she turns she jumps. Francis' lips tilt up in amusement.

Glad to know she can still bring that part out of him. She looks away.

"You shouldn't stare." She says, "It's not polite."

"You're right, I shouldn't stare." He says softly, "Old habits die hard, I suppose." She doesn't say anything, she's not sure what to say to that. She just leans back against the wall and waits for the ding to let her off of this floor. This elevator is going awfully slow today, it's probably broke. That sounds like something the universe would do, break the elevator so she's trapped in here with him.

"Thanks for the flowers…" She says without looking at him

"You're welcome." He says and he's still looking at her, but he looks away when the lights inside flicker. _Please, God…_

Does she try to talk to him? Should she try to talk to him? What would she even say? She's not sure she can handle him snapping at her like he did the other night again. They're at her place of work too and Catherine would have a fit if they got in a screaming match here. Mary decides to just stay quiet, it's safer that way.

"I need to apologize." Francis says suddenly, "I...shouldn't have treated you how I treated you the other night. I had no right to talk to you like that. I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"It's really not."

"Francis, I'm fine." She says and she finally looks at him. "I'm fine." She clutches her folder tighter until her knuckles turn white. This elevator is broken, it's the only explanation as to why it hasn't reached her floor.

 **Mary:** _"Currently trapped in an elevator with Francis."_

 **Lola:** _"W H A T"_

 **Greer:** _"Call security!"_

 **Kenna:** _"Mary if you get scared, Francis can comfort you!"_

 **Kenna:** _"In more ways than one."_

 **Mary:** _"...no."_

 **Kenna:** _"The dots make me think you're considering it."_ It would be stupid of her to try and get him to do anything with her, let alone sex. He can barely look at her, the thought of touching her probably makes him sick to his stomach.

Mary shakes her head, presses another button in the elevator but nothing happens. It's broken, _great_ , that's just _fantastic._

"Come on…" She huffs.

"I think you need to call someone." Francis says, "It hasn't moved in a while." Mary nods as she presses the emergency button and dials security. She slides down to the floor and tries to breathe. It'll be fine, it's just Francis. Francis, who would probably rather gouge his own eyes out than spend another minute alone with her. She slides down to sit on the floor because they may be here for a while and he does the same, staying as far away as he can get in the tiny confines of this elevator. She knew she should have taken the stairs.

Yes, the only thing screwing her these days is the universe.

* * *

A/N: I'm really happy to see the positive feedback for this story. I was really nervous about posting it, so thank you. I have this story finished because I wrote it _months_ ago. And I didn't intend to upload it because I had done strictly Once Upon A Time stories for so long, it felt weird to write for another fandom. But yeah, the next one I do believe is my favorite part. :) Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

_-5 Years Ago-_

Francis is living with her now, done with school, and they're out in the open. He is publicly _hers_. She doesn't doubt that until one day he leaves his phone with the messages open on the coffee table and she gets a glimpse of Olivia's name on the screen. Pretty, blonde, _Olivia_ ; there before Mary, _Olivia;_ the body like a damn supermodel, _Olivia._

She wants to be _that_ girl, to grab his phone and look through his messages but she doesn't. He comes back too quickly.

"Here you go." He says softly as he hands her a cup of hot chocolate and then he sits next to her.

"Who are you talking to?"

"My mother." Lie number one.

"Didn't know she texted."

"She's learning." Mary nods as she sets her cup down on the coffee table.

"What are you talking about that she can't just call?"

"Something important."

"If it was important, she would call." She says softly, or she'd burst through the door like usual. She knows Catherine, did he forget that?

"Mary, don't worry about it."

"I'll stop worrying when you stop lying to me." she says with a glare, "Your mother doesn't text if she has something important to talk about, she calls or she bursts through our door. If you wanted me to buy it, you would have said, Bash."

"Mary-"

"Don't." She stands up when he reaches for her, "Don't even think about touching me." He stands up too.

"Wh-"

"You're talking to Olivia. I saw her name on the screen when you got up to get me this…" She picks up her cup. She wants very badly to just throw it at him but she doesn't. He knows she does too because he steps back.

"Did you look through my messages?"

"No." She says, " _Should_ I?"

"No-"

"Are you hiding something from me?" She shouts.

"Mary, for god sake, if you'd let me talk-"

"Why are you talking to your ex and lying about?" She asks and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Olivia and I were kids when we dated." He says, "We're just friends."  
"That's how it starts."

" _Mary._ " He takes a step towards her but she backs away, heading for the stairs.

"Leave me alone."

"You're not letting me explain." She doesn't say anything, she just runs upstairs, desperate to get away from him and slams the door shut. At least he waits a few seconds to come after her. Slammed doors don't stop Francis, he opens them right back up. Mary glares at him as she wipes her eyes and his face softens a bit.

"What?" She asks, "Don't you have important things to discuss with Your Olivia?" Like Mary's work schedule so she can come over and roll around with him for a couple hours undetected.

"No." He says softly, "But I do have important things to discuss with My Mary." And then he walks over to her and despite her attempt to move away from him, he gets close enough to intertwine his fingers with hers. "Olivia is my friend." Mary rolls her eyes, "And she's the only woman I know who can give me honest opinions on rings without you finding out."

"What?" She asks softly.

"I needed someone I knew you wouldn't bump into. And your friends, they're great, but they don't keep secrets very well and I couldn't ask them to keep this from you. Knowing Kenna, she would have accidentally told you the second she saw you. You don't talk to Olivia, the last time you spoke to her was years ago."

"You're looking at rings?"

"You can see the messages if you want."

"I believe you…" She says softly, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize." He smirks and then he kisses her, "And for your information, Olivia is pregnant and married."

"Really?"

"Yep." _Bye, bye supermodel tummy._

"Rings. You're looking at rings…"

"I never hid my intention to marry you, though I would like a bit of surprise so let's stop talking about it." She smiles and he smiles back, the way she loves. When it reaches his eyes and lights his whole face up.

"Okay."

"Are we good now?"

"Yeah." She says softly and she opens her mouth to apologize again but he pushes her down on the bed before she can get it out.

* * *

 _-Present Day-_

"How long has it been now?" Mary asks softly, stripping off her jacket because it's getting a little toasty in this stupid elevator.

"Almost an hour."

"Catherine is going to kill me." She says with a sigh. There was an important meeting she needed to be at today. One she is very _very_ late for because she's stuck in here. She's trapped in here, with _Francis._ Guess this is one way to give her what's she's been wanting for the last two years, she _is_ alone with him, she _can_ talk to him and he can't run away from her or reject her phone calls or delete her texts.

"She might." He says without even asking why there's a definite edge to his voice. Oh, right, he can't stand being around her. That would put an edge in her voice too. Why is he even here?

"I need a cigarette." He breathes and she makes a face, it's still so so weird to picture him with one in between his fingers.

"Gross."

"True." He says softly

"When did you start-"  
"When do you think?" He asks, eyes narrowing her way, "Drop one addiction, pick up another am I right? Turns out Mary withdrawal is actually pretty painful, needed something to take my mind off of it."

"Mary withdrawal."

"Yup."

"Well," She shakes her head, "At least you're not a raging alcoholic."

"There's still time." He says as he leans his head back and sighs heavily, he's getting anxious. She really did a number on him, didn't she? She never really thought of it, but it makes sense now why Bash had distanced himself so much, why people Francis still interacted with as much as he could being half a world away, had suddenly limited their time with Mary. He's not the same and she did that to him. Since they're sharing, she might as well tell him something she did after him.

"It's not smoking or drinking or anything like that but...after you left," She shakes her head and he's looking at her; just a tiny bit interested, "More so after some doctor in Berlin called to tell me my mother had died...I had this really bad mental breakdown."

"What?" She nods.

"I broke probably everything I could in that house and then I…" She laughs, "I kept begging someone to just call you, you were the only person I wanted at that moment, but the only person you would pick up for wasn't speaking to me at the time so…" She wonders what would have happened if he had answered someone, heard her freaking out in the background and breaking things. Would he have gotten on a plane? Would he have asked the phone be given to her? Probably all of the above. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even look at her now. She doesn't even know if he was listening.

"I love you." It flies out of her mouth before she even realizes she was about to say it and she watches it sink into him, watches him stiffen under it. Hears his breath hitch.

"Don't." He says softly, "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"You can't tell me you love me like it'll fix anything." He snaps and it isn't as intense as the other night but it still makes her chest hurt and her stomach flip. She's not used to him being able to talk to her like that so easily.

"You did it." That night at the banquet he said it, it didn't feel the same but it still came out of his mouth. So why can't she say it? Just once. She's only been wanting to say it since she saw him that night, to remind him that she did. She didn't let him go because she didn't.

"Yeah…" He breathes, "Yeah Mary I did."

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"When you said it, did you mean it?" She asks and he gives her an incredulous look.

"Of course I did." He exclaims, "Look at me I'm a damn mess. If I didn't love you I'd be _fine_ by now." He runs his hands over his face, "Can we...can we just not talk? Can we not acknowledge each other for a minute? Please?"

"You've been doing that for two years so I don't see why it would be difficult now."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. Let's just not talk." She whispers and he shakes his head. He's frustrated, his jaw tightening the way it used to when they'd really get into it and he'd be pissed but he didn't want her to know it. She always knew, or she used to.

She used to know him but she doesn't recognize the person sitting next to her right now. It's quiet for a little while and then she hears him breathe deeply.

"I used to forget." Francis says softly and she raises an eyebrow, "The first couple of months. Usually, as I was waking up in the morning, I'd have these few seconds of forgetting. I'd reach for you but you weren't there."

"Francis-"  
"You don't know how badly I wanted to come back, to say screw Paris, and just come back to you. Or to answer the times you called me, but I didn't want to reopen everything, you made your point and I knew if I called you it would be the same fight all over again. Eventually, I told myself that you were dead."

"Wh-"

"Not with any malicious intent, I didn't wish you dead." He says that like it'll make this feel any better, "But telling myself that you died for a little while...it was easier to cope with. Believing you were dead and God took you away from me was so much easier to deal with than you being alive and not wanting me anymore. So." He shrugs, "Take from that what you will."

"Is that why even after a few months went by you still refused to talk to me?" He doesn't say anything and, well, that must be confirmation. Maybe he isn't proud of it, maybe it took a lot to admit it, but Mary feels her chest tighten a little bit and she stands up. She should be upset with him for it, she should probably feel anger climb up her insides and spew out of her mouth but the way he's looking at her right now. All she feels is an overwhelming urge to just...hold him, but she stays where she is. He wouldn't let her anyway.

"I didn't let you go because I didn't want you anymore, Francis." She says softly, "I don't want you to think that there was ever a part of me that was done with you." Even now after everything, after all this time they've spent getting used to their lives without each other, god if he wanted her she'd give herself to him. He stands up and crosses the little bit of space between them, closing a gap and then he's right _there._ Standing in front of her, the closest he's been in two years. Seven hundred and ninety-five days.

"Even now?" He asks softly and she nods and she can feel her heart beating in her ears, she wonders if he can hear it too; it's so _loud_. She almost stops breathing when he gets even closer to her, pressing his forehead against her own like he used to. Something that used to make her calm and feel all...floaty, now it just makes her nervous.

"Francis." She's surprised she can even talk, getting air into her lungs was hard enough, add speaking on top of that, damn near impossible, but she did it. Barely audible but she did it.

"I want…"

"What?"

"To kiss you." It's soft the way he says it, the way it falls off his tongue, she barely hears it over the sound of her own breathing. He almost does it, he gets so close and if she just tilts her chin up a little she can do it, but then he moves away, breaks away from her, runs his hands through his hair. "We need to get out of this elevator." Is all he says. Get out of this elevator before he does something stupid, the stupid decision being Mary but he doesn't say it. He doesn't have to say it.

* * *

She was right, Catherine was pissed when the elevator finally opened, but her angry expression is replaced with slight concern and mild curiosity when she steps out with Francis. Mary doesn't say anything as she heads for her office, shuts the door and runs her hands through her hair. She just wants today to be over, to be done so she can go to bed and sleep for a million years.

She jumps at the knock on her door and Catherine enters slowly.

"Are you alright?" She asks

"Yeah...the elevator was just stu- That's not what you're asking about," Mary says softly as she plops down in her chair.

"You looked pretty upset when the elevator opened."

"Yeah well, he didn't hold back," Mary says as she types a reply to an email, she doesn't look at her as she does it. "He used to tell himself I was dead…" She says softly and when she does look at her, Mary realizes Catherine didn't need to be told that, "Judging by your face you already knew that." She says slamming her laptop shut.

"I don't condone some of his...uh...coping mechanisms." Catherine says, "But he is my son and I have to let him...I can't tell him how to deal with things."

"I messed him up." Mary says as she stands and Catherine shakes her head quickly, "I did. You see it, everyone sees it, I should have-"

"What?" Catherine asks and she closes the door, crosses the room to her, "Asked him to stay? Asked him to give up a once in a lifetime opportunity for you? He would have, you know him. Francis is reasonable in all things but he is relentless in his love for you."

"I didn't think he'd hate me so much…" She says softly, "I didn't think he'd cut me out of his life completely, I…"

"He doesn't hate you."

"Sure."

"Mary," Catherine says her name firmly, "He doesn't hate you. He never has, not even after, he understood why you did what you did."

"Then wh-"

"Understanding something doesn't make it hurt less."

-\\-

She never asked him what he was doing there in the first place and she debates just texting him, he may not tell her but it's worth a shot.

 **Mary:** _"Why were you in the building anyway?"_ His reply comes quicker than she thought it would.

 **Francis:** _"I was supposed to have lunch with my mother, but as you know that didn't happen."_

 **Mary:** _"That elevator has never done that before."_

 **Francis:** _"There's a first time for everything I guess."_

 **Mary:** _"Yeah…"_ He stops replying after that, not that she expected him to in the first place. Mary sighs as she grabs a pillow and curls up on her couch. Today has just been one heck of a rollercoaster ride and she just wants to sleep. Her phone buzzes a few times and she groans.

 **Lola:** _"Sooo. How was the elevator mishap?"_

 **Kenna:** _"Yeah you never told us what it was like being stuck for a few hours with blonde hair, blue eyes, and ~History~"_

 **Mary:** _"I can tell you what didn't happen, it's whatever you're thinking."_

 **Kenna:** _"Damn."_

She debates whether she should tell them about the almost kiss thing, but she doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up. There isn't anything to hope for, he didn't do it, but he almost did and that's probably the last time he'll ever allow himself to be that close to her again. What the hell. They'll find out anyway, they always do.

 **Mary:** _"He almost kissed me."_

 **Greer:** _"W H A T"_

 **Kenna:** _"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH"_

 **Kenna:** _"Ssspiilll"_

 **Kenna:** _"What the fuck do you mean by almost!?"_

 **Mary:** _"I mean almost?"_

 **Lola:** _"Was there contact?"_

 **Kenna:** _"Was there?"_

 **Mary:** _"There was not."_

 **Greer:** _"Not even a little?"_

 **Mary:** _"Nope."_

 **Kenna:** _"Seeeeee, he doesn't hate you."_

 **Kenna:** _"If he hated you he wouldn't kiss you."_

 **Mary:** _"But he didn't."_

 **Kenna:** _"Almost is still something, boo."_ Mary rolls her eyes, already regretting telling them. She stops replying and lets them carry on as she gets ready for bed. She's just about to fall asleep when she hears something, she sits up and listens. _Thud._ She squints as she tries to listen, thinking at first it was probably the neighbors, but then she jumps at the sound of glass breaking. She scrambles for her phone and calls.

"Mary, it's late," Bash says when he answers but he doesn't sound like he was sleeping, he sounds pretty awake.

"I know." She whispers, "I think there's someone-" She yelps, clamps a hand over her mouth, "Someone's definitely in my apartment…" She whispers. It's not the first time this has happened, sometimes the old man a few doors down gets confused and winds up in her apartment and she doesn't want to call the police if it's him again. Another crash of glass and a curse and the footsteps sound heavy and she's shaking now.

"Mary?" Bash questions, "I don't know." He says it softly like he's speaking to someone else in the room with him.

"Can you just come?" She asks softly trying not to make any noise.

"Mary-" the doorknob twists and then the door opens, Mary lets out a noise she didn't know she could make, a horror movie quality shriek that has Bash yelling through the speaker, asking her to just _say something._ If he wasn't on his way then, he's on his way now.


	6. Chapter 6

_-3 Years Ago-_

They had a fight, more so a heated discussion. It started innocently enough, they started talking about kids and she informed him she wasn't sure if she wanted any. She should have told him sooner, she knows. Mary stares up at the ceiling and so does Francis, they're far away from each other, enough space between them to fit another person entirely.

"Please don't leave me." She says softly and she feels his eyes on her. Mary doesn't look at him.

"I'm not going to leave you over this."

"But-"

"Mary, I'm just confused...we've talked about this before, you never said anything about not having children." He says and he turns on his side, watches her with mild curiosity. It's not that she doesn't want to have any, but she doesn't want to fight. Not with her mother sleeping in the guest bedroom beside them.

"I just…"

"Mary, talk to me," Francis says as he reaches, tugs her close to him and she swallows. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I…" She turns on her side to face him, "What if I can't?"

"What do you mean?" He should know what she means. It's not like they're _careful_ , it's not like they go to great lengths to _prevent_ a pregnancy. She should have fallen pregnant forever ago and she hasn't even had a scare. Not once.

"I don't want you to hate me if I can't have children."

"Mary. Hate you? _Please_." He intertwined his fingers with hers. "As if I could ever."

"What if-"

"My love, there are plenty of other ways to have a baby." Francis says, "And if we have to, we'll explore them."

"That's not all…" She says softly and he props his head up on an elbow, let's go of her hand to brush a stray strand of hair from her face. "What if I'm like her? What if I hate them?" He laughs, the man actually _laughs._

" _Francis_ …" She whines, "conversation over." She says after a few seconds and she rolls over to turn her back to him.

"Wait." He says, "Mary, I'm sorry."

"Night."

"Baby, I'm sorry."

"Don't touch me." She says, swatting his hand away when he attempts to roll her back over.

"Mary, look at me." He says and he sounds serious now, any ounce of him finding it funny is gone but she still doesn't turn back over to look at him, "Come back to me."

"Sleeping."

"You're not."

"Oh, but I am."

"Mary, your eyes are open." He says and she closes them, she hears him sigh. "Fine." He lies back down, "But if you think this is over it isn't."

"It is. You shouldn't have laughed."

"Mary, I only laughed because you thinking you could be anything like your mother is literally the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." She turns over, "And she doesn't hate you."

"Well, she has a funny way of showing me she doesn't."

"Okay." He pulls her up, "Can I be honest with you for a moment?"

"You're going to be whether I want you to or not so."

"I don't condone her neglectful nature, but," He sighs, "How soon after you were born did your father die?"

"Like...a day or two after."

"And she loved him?" He asks and to be honest she doesn't know, she doesn't talk about him and she never really has. The only things she has to go off of are pictures and they're smiling, but a lot can be hidden with a smile, "Let's say for the purpose of this that she did."

"Okay…"

"Your mother lost her husband while she was still healing from giving birth. I'm not an expert, but that's a lot to deal with. She suddenly had to do it alone and not just raise you, but the stepson she never asked for. That might have, I don't know, made it hard to bond with you." She never thought about that. Her mother and father probably had plans, plans that stopped when he died. It was probably hard for her mother to look at her every day.

"I hate that you're right." Mary huffs.

"We're different. I don't plan on dying any time soon."

"I'm sure my father didn't either but uh…"

"Mary." He says, "You will be an incredible mother. I know it. To all seven of our children."

" _SEVEN?!_ " She shouts, "What happened to two!?"

"Changed my mind."

"Uhhhh." She scoffs, "There is no way in hell seven kids are coming out of _this._ " Mary points at herself and he smirks.

"I see we have more discussing to do."

"There's no discussion needed, I'm not giving birth to seven kids."

"They'll be spaced out, I'm not crazy." Francis laughs and she glares at him. "What?"

"No." She flops back down, "Not happening, I don't care how spaced out."

"Hey, you know I want a big family."

"Yes and I love you for that but no to seven."

"Six?"

"No."

"Five?"

"Francis."

"...Four?" He asks as he lies next to her, "How about a dozen?"

"Not even if you begged me."

"It wouldn't be too hard; we can get started right now." She rolls her eyes and turns away from him. "Don't turn away from me again."

"Too late."

"I can't make love to you if you're over there."

"Sucks to be you, doesn't it?" She asks and she feels the bed shift as he moves closer to her. She moves away, "No." She says as his fingers find the hem of her shirt and he pouts, "My mother is in the other room, what if she hears-"

"She should have called first." He whispers in her ear and then he's nipping the skin below her ear and down her neck and his hand dips below the waistband of her shorts. _Damn._

"I hate you." She says as she turns on her back.

"No, you don't," Francis smirks as he bends to kiss her.

* * *

 _-Present-_

"James!?" Mary shrieks, "What the hell are you doing here!?" She gets up from her place on the floor and he grabs her, traps her in a hug that lifts her off the ground.

"Mary!" He says happily, "Oh it's been so long." He places her back on the ground and she gapes at him. He's drunk, she can smell the heavy liquor on him, but what is he doing here? He never visits. He only calls when he needs something from her, she can't even remember the last conversation she had with him where he was the slightest bit interested in what was happening in her life.

"You're drunk."

"A little."

"What are you doing here?" Mary asks again, slower this time.

"Emily left me." He begins as she tugs him out of her bedroom and steers him towards the couch. "She went back to her mean husband."

"She was married…"

"Yeah, but he was meeeaaann."

"Is that why you're here?" Mary asks, "Because your married girlfriend went back to her husband?" Mary doesn't know much about it, but she does know that Emily fled the hands of her abuser for James, vowed to divorce. That's the last she heard about it and that was three years ago. "She hasn't gotten the divorce?"

"She tried to get an annulment...but he wouldn't sign it." He slurs and then he leans on Mary and she nearly falls over because he rests all his body weight on her. "I thought she loved me…"

"Oh, James." Mary sighs, "Please tell me you didn't drive like this…"

"I took a cab."

"Good."

"Hey, where's the...blonde dude?" He sits up, looks around, "Where's Francine?"

"Francine?"

"Is that not his name?"

"No…"

"Hm."

"It's Francis."

"Oooohhh yeah. I remember now." He laughs, "Ha. Such a girly name, why-why did his parents do that to him? The poor soul."

"He's not here...hasn't been- when was the last time we talked?"

"Why isn't he here? Did he die?" James asks and she doesn't miss the hopeful gleam in his eyes. She rolls her eyes.

"No." She says, "And what did he ever do to you? You met him twice."

"It's my job to hate the guy banging my siiissster."

"Please never say that again." Mary huffs as she attempts to push him off just a little, to relent some of his crushing weight from her bones. "And we broke up two years ago, where have you been?"

"Oh no!" He gasps, "Oh no, Mary what happened?" He seems genuinely concerned with this, she figured he'd be glad, but she doesn't want to tell him this while he's drunk off his ass.

"A lot."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"Wha-"

"Oh, I'll kill him." Mary tries to tell him no, to say that's not what happened but at that time her door opens and Bash comes in with- _you freaking guessed it_ \- Francis.

"Uh-"

"HEY!" James is already on his feet, "You cheated on my sister!?"

"James, that's n-"

"Is that what you told him?" Francis turns his eyes to her and it's probably the coldest she's ever felt when he looked at her. She doesn't have time to fix it because James is already heading for him. Bash gets between them though.

"I'm going to break every bone in his body!"

"You'll have to go through me first and you're drunk. Odds don't look good, buddy." Bash says through clenched teeth as he pushes him back. "Are you okay?" Bash asks as he turns his gaze to Mary and she nods quickly, tries to get James to just _stop_. He doesn't, he takes the time during Bash's question to push past him and head straight for Francis. James is a big man, tall and muscular and Francis is...well, Francis, but he grew up with several siblings, he can handle himself.

Its chaos and someone is going to call the police. Her walls aren't thin but they're being so loud the neighbors are bound to hear them. Mary tries to intervene but catches someone's fist in the midst of it and it sends her to the floor with a shout. Then it's quiet and everything stops, it takes her a minute to figure out who was gently pulling her up to sit on the floor.

"Bash go get some ice." Francis says softly, "Let me see," He says as he turns her chin towards him so he can look, when she pulls her hand back there's blood. A nice little cut under her eye.

 _Fantastic._ That'll be fun explaining when she goes to work tomorrow.

"Mary I-"

"Don't touch her." Francis snaps when James reaches, he looks absolutely mortified, "Sit down and don't move."

"Here," Bash says softly as he hands Francis ice wrapped up in a washcloth and Francis helps her bring it to her eye.

"You're alright, just keep it there." He's whispering to her, he sounds so caring and she hates it. Mary can actually feel her blood boiling as she looks around the room. The place is a mess, there's broken glass from what used to be a lamp, her coffee table is knocked over. Francis helps her stand and then she's clawing her way out of his arms.

"Stupid, testosterone filled, assholes," She huffs, "Everyone get out of my apartment!" She shouts, "Out, all of you." She doesn't see their reactions as she goes into her room and slams the door and then she locks it. Slammed doors don't stop Francis, not that he'd come after her anyway. She's shaking as she crawls on her bed, hears the front door close after a little while and then she just lets the tears fall on her pillow.

She wants everything to be over, she wants James to go back to wherever he lives now, she wants her eye to stop hurting, she wants to stop crying, she wants Francis to stop looking at her like he wants to be the one who gives her a black eye. If she just waits a little longer, he'll be back in Paris pretending she doesn't exist and she can go back to pretending it doesn't _hurt_ that he pretends she doesn't exist.

She doesn't know how long it's been before she hears the soft knock on her bedroom door and she doesn't care one bit if there are tears streaming down her face when she rips it open.

Well, she was wrong about Francis coming after her. His face softens the second he sees her, she probably looks like hell, she feels like hell. He reaches but she steps back.

"I told you to leave." She says.

"I know but-"

"Where's Bash?"

"In the hallway…"

"James?"

"Passed out on the couch."

"Great, bye." She goes to close the door but his foot prevents her from doing it. "It's late, I'm tired, I'm bleeding and I told you to leave."

"I know, Mary, I just n-" He reaches for her again and she flinches, it wasn't intended but he drops his hand.

"No." She says.

"I just-"

"No." She says again, louder this time.

"Mary-"

"No!" She screams it this time because apparently, he's hard of hearing if he didn't get it the first time she said it and she no longer cares about her neighbors or possible police visits, or James passed out on her couch and Bash in the hallway.

"I just want to make sure you're okay," Francis says softly and she scoffs.

"Well, I'm not." She snaps, "Okay? I'm _not._ " Mary presses the ice to her eye and just tries her hardest to stop the shaking, "So, can you please just leave?"

"Mary, please-"

"Go away." She says, "Please just go away I can't...I can't take this anymore. Go back to Paris."

"Mary-"

"Go. Back. To. Paris." She says it slowly, "Cut me out again, I don't care. I'm done." She laughs because she can't even believe it's coming out of her mouth, she didn't think she could ever be done with Francis. But he isn't Francis anymore. She has no idea who he is. "I'm _done._ "

"You don't mean that."

"I do though." Mary says softly, "I do. So, you can stop pretending that you care about me and you can leave because I am so done trying to get you to talk to me, of missing you and wishing you were here. You're here now, but you're not...you're not the same person and I get it, okay? I get that I hurt you and maybe I deserve to be treated how you've been treating me since you got here, and no amount of flowers for my dead mother or almost kisses in elevators is going to make this _any_ better."

"I'm not pretending to care about you, Mary, I love-"

"Stop." She puts her hand up, "If I don't get to say it, you don't get to say it."

"I know I've been...horrible to you and I'm so...I'll do anything to make it up to you, Mary, I swear, but please just talk to me." She doesn't say anything; instead, she turns away and heads for her dresser. He doesn't follow but he stays in the doorway. She opens the box, takes one last look, and then promptly snaps it shut.

"This is yours." Mary says softly as she goes to hand it to him, "I shouldn't have kept it for so long. I think I was always just kind of holding out hope that you'd come back and we could start over." Francis doesn't take it, not at first.

"Mary-"

"Don't fight me on this, please just take it." His fingers close around the velvet box and he takes it from her, turning it over in his hand. "Consider this me _finally_ letting you go. I never thought I'd get here, but there's a first time for everything, right?"

"Right…" he says it so softly, so so softly she barely hears it. Will there ever be a time when they stop hurting each other? She hopes a day comes when they can be somewhat civil but today is not that day, she doesn't even think it'll be anytime soon.

"Bye, Francis…" She tries not to look at him as she closes the door; he's still looking at the ring in his hand. She doesn't miss the tiny tear that rolls down his cheek, or how it threatens to drown her.

* * *

She calls in the next morning, tells Catherine she's sick or something. She can't go in looking like someone beat the hell out of her. Mary sighs as she unhooks her phone from her charger, turns the coffee pot on. She has a couple messages from the usual people, Kenna and Lola. Greer sent an adorable picture of her daughter playing in the snow this morning. She sends back a couple heart eye emoji and then she has a few messages from Francis.

 **Francis:** _"Mary, can we please talk?"_

 **Francis:** _"I can come by your office if you want."_

 **Francis:** _"Scratch that, you're not here."_

 **Francis:** _"Mary, please...at least tell me you're okay."_ She doesn't respond, keeps looking for anything else and then she sees a few from Bash too.

 **Bash:** _"Damn, Mary what did you say to him?"_

 **Bash:** _"He's a mess. I'd turn off your phone if I were you."_ She rolls her eyes and grabs a broom, she needs to get this place cleaned up and she'd make James do it, but he's still in a _coma_ on her couch. She starts with the glass, sweeping it up and discarding of it and then she flips her coffee table back over and puts everything back on it. The bookshelf also took a tumble, she didn't even notice that last night and one of the legs broke off. _Great._ It was her mother's. As she picks up things strewn around her apartment she finds something she hadn't seen in a while, she didn't even know she still had it. A picture folded up and crammed between the pages of a book. A book with highlighted passages and handwriting in the margins. It's Francis' book. With the bookmark still in it.

The picture is of them, with his lips on her cheek and she doesn't remember where they were but it was snowing and there were so many lights. It doesn't just hurt her heart, it's a throbbing, searing pain that hurts her whole damn body.

And as she stares at this broken bookshelf and this apartment filled with broken things, she can't stop the sobs that rip through her body. She wants her mom. That's who people want when they're sad, right? Their parents? She's never wanted her mother more than she did right now, not even when she was little.

She didn't even hear him get up, she didn't hear him cross the room to her, but she feels him knelt down and pull her against him.

"I'm sorry." James whispers, "I'm so sorry, Mary."

"You really need a shower…" She says through her tears and she feels his laugh ripple through his chest.

* * *

A/N: Well that was a whole lotta owie. Sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

_-2 Years Ago-_

She wishes she could explain it better, wishes she could get the words to leave her tongue, to tumble out of her mouth. She wishes he would say something, that he would stop looking at her like that. Like she just took his whole heart and put it in a blender, like she just bulldozed his soul, like she just grounded his bones to dust.

"Francis…" She says softly and he _finally_ blinks, finally let's go of the breath he's been holding since she told him.

"Please tell me...that you're coming with me and that your bags are packed because it can't be the other thing, Mary, it _can't._ " She shakes her head and he lets out another breath, this one struggling to claw its way out of his lungs and he tilts his head at her. If she could see through her tears, she would remember what his face looked like. "Why?" It's soft, she barely hears it and she takes a step towards him but he steps back. "Why are you telling me this _now_?"

"Francis, I-" She swallows, "I only just realized how...impossible this all is."

"Impossible."

"Please try to understand where I'm coming from…"

"I'm trying, though it's proving to be rather difficult, Mary." He says and there's a slight edge to his voice now, "How long have you been sitting with this?" He asks softly after a few seconds of just trying to process this.

"Not long…" Not long as in this morning. When she saw him packing up the last of his things, setting it all up with Bash, who should be here soon to take him to the airport.

"Last night when we were together...when I was touching you, were you rehearsing what you were planning on saying to me?"

"No, Francis."

"I'm finding it hard to believe you." He says softly and she's surprised, she expected him to yell, to scream at her, something more than this. Maybe he knew it too that this wouldn't work, that they'd end anyways so they might as well end it _now_. It's too much for her to be away from him for so long, to only have him for a few weeks before he has to leave again. They can't make a life with each other out of occasional phone calls and skyping _maybe_. Not to mention the time difference, the fact that he's a whole ocean away, a different country. Having and raising kids like that is damn near out of the question. Being away from them for so long, only being able to be with them for a little bit before he has to leave again would crush him.

"Francis, I'm sorry."

"Yeah." He whispers, "I can stay."

"You can't."

"Mary-"

"You already took the job."

"Because you told me to!" _There_ it is. That's what she was expecting, the shout makes her jump, it shakes her to her core, it rattles her bones. "I can't go if it means losing you."

"You have to…"

"Can you at least give me the luxury of trying?" He asks and he meets her eyes and she wishes he hadn't, he's never looked at her like that. Francis has never been one to beg, but he appears to be now. "Just try and see…"  
"It would only delay the inevitable."

"What has gotten into you, where is this doubt coming from?" He asks and she doesn't answer, she doesn't know. She just knows it won't work, doubt twists in her gut and threatens to drown her and she wishes it were different, that this wasn't happening, that Paris wasn't an option and that he _could_ stay. He can't.

"We can't build a life with each other if you're only here every couple of months, Francis."

"Then why did you let me-" He shakes his head, "It can work, Mary, you just have to let it."

"Francis-"  
" _Please._ "

"I don't know how else to explain this to-"

"You can't do this, you can't be okay with this one minute and then end it the next." He snaps and she doesn't say anything because that's what she's doing and she knows it isn't fair, but it has to be done. They have to be done. She opens her mouth to say something but they both turn their heads when the front door opens and Bash comes in.

"Are you ready?" He asks looking between them and she doesn't know how much of it he heard but he looks uncomfortable, so he must have heard some of it. Francis nods.

"Just a minute."

"I'll take some of your bags to the car," Bash says softly and then he's grabbing a few and heading back outside. Francis doesn't look at her as he runs his hands through his hair.

"So, this is it then?" He asks, "You're just done."

"Francis-"

"I can't convince you, can I? You've made up your mind, doesn't really matter what I think. I have to go…"

"At least tell me you understand…" She says quickly, grabbing his arm before he can walk out the door and leave her forever, "I love you…"

"I don't understand." He shakes his head, "And I know, okay? I know." He says softly and then he's prying her off of him, the door slams behind him and she's alone.

He's gone.

* * *

 _-Present-_

"How's the hangover?" Mary asks softly, voice still a little hoarse from all the crying so she clears her throat. James shrugs.

"Not bad." He must be used to it. Mary hands him a cup of coffee before going to the freezer to grab an ice pack for her eye. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I just caught you crying on the living room floor, I don't think you are."

"Then why did you ask?" She asks as she sits at the table across from him. "I'm...handling it."

"What's _it_?"

"James-"

"Francis?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her, looking at her like he knows that's the _it_ she was referring too. She shakes her head, not because he's wrong, but because she doesn't want to talk about him right now. She stares down at the steam rising from her cup, she must look pretty pathetic sitting here, one eye was swollen and bruised, the other red-rimmed and puffy; seated at the table with ice pressed to her face. She hasn't even brushed her hair today, it's a tangled, almost unsalvageable mess.

"Your silence tells me I'm right."

"It's not just Francis." She says softly, though most of it is. A lot of it is Francis, but some of it is her. Some is James.

"You never told me what happened."

"Well, I can tell you he didn't cheat on me."

"What? Was he just done?"

"He wasn't the one who ended it, James," Mary says softly and _that_ made him straighten, made him tense because he may not know Francis very well, but he knows Mary and he knows how much she loves him. Loved him. Past tense, though she didn't feel very past tensey, two years without him and it's still hard to refer to Francis in any way other than present tense.

"Oh," James says softly and he doesn't add anything to that, waits for her to continue but she isn't sure she wants to. It's not a long story, everyone expects it to be some stupid fight, a heated argument that ended them, but it wasn't like that. Not really. So while it isn't a long tale, it's still a painful one. "Care to fill me in or am I going to have to peel you off the floor again?" She doesn't answer, just shifts in her chair. "I won't press the issue if you don't want to tell me. But it must have been pretty bad to get you to leave him."

"It wasn't."

"Oh?"

"Trust me it would have been easier if it had been."

"Sooo, what happened?" He asks. She takes a sip of her coffee before she starts and when she does, she does it quickly, gives him the shortest version she can. Turns out any way she tells it, it's going to be the same length it always was. James listens though, he doesn't interrupt and he doesn't ask for any explanations. That's what she always liked about talking to him, he listened to everything so carefully, allowed himself time to process the information before asking her any questions. When she's finished, he just leans back with his arms folded over his chest.

"I hate to say this, Mary I really do, but I agree with Francis." He says after a minute and her eyes would go wide if it didn't hurt so much.

" _What?_ " She asks.

"I mean, I get why you did it don't get me wrong, I probably would have done the same thing." He says and then he shrugs, "But it could have worked."

"No." She shakes her head.

"Yes."

"How?"

"With a lot of hard work and patience."

"Am I getting relationship advice from James?" She asks softly.

"Look, I'm not really the one to talk to about that, but if you had come to him _before_ he had to leave, you could have worked something out together." She knows he's right, she already knew that but she wasn't thinking that day. She knows what she should have done, how she should have went about it but it was too late.

She already broke him.

"We still would have ended regardless."

"Why?" He asks softly, "Why do you think that?" The distance for one, the months of not seeing him. Mary wouldn't have been able to handle it, add her mother dying right after that and she _really_ wouldn't have been able to handle it.

"I don't agree with him cutting you out of his life completely though." James says, "That was kind of a dick move." She nods, "Speaking of"

"Oh god."

"I can't imagine how angry that made you."

"Not angry…" She says softly, "Just sad." He doesn't say anything, instead, he just changes the subject to something more interesting. Interesting to James at least. _Greer._

 _-/-_

Later in the day, James decides it would be better for both of them if he got a hotel room until he could figure what he was going to do. In case Francis shows up again, he's not sure he'll be able to keep from saying anything. Mary tries to get him to stay but he refuses, her couch isn't comfortable apparently and she really doesn't have the room for him, so she gives him enough money to stay at a hotel for a couple nights and then he's gone.

He makes a promise to try and keep in touch but she doubts he will. He never really does but at least he's closer now and she knows where he'll be for the next few days.

Her phone buzzes and she jumps, catching it before it can vibrate off the coffee table.

"Hello?" She asks softly.

"Hey." She expects it to be Bash since that's the contact that came up but it isn't his voice.

"Francis, why do you have Bash's phone?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't answer if I called from mine."

"...And Bash just let yo-"  
"I may have switched with him when he wasn't looking."

"May have?" She asks raising her eyebrow.

"I did."

"What do you want?" She asks softly, "I'm busy…"

"Mary, I know you didn't go to work today and I can hear _Judge Judy_ playing on the tv in the background."

"I'm busy watching _Judge Judy_ and icing my _very_ bruised eye."

"I just want to talk," Francis says softly.

"I wanted to talk for two years."

"Mary-" She hangs up, turns her phone off after that.

* * *

"Mary what the hell happened to your face!?" Greer asks when she opens the door, adjusting Rose on her hip.

"It's a long story." She says softly, giving her friend a weird look, she didn't tell her she was coming over. She would have at least gotten dressed. "What are you doing here?"

"You said you'd watch her…"  
"I did?"

"My father is in town, and you promised…"  
"But I-"

"Mary, please." Greer says softly, "Lola is out of town and I am not letting Kenna watch her unsupervised." She nearly asks why, but it's Kenna, enough said.

"Why can't you take her with you?" Mary asks slowly already regretting the question, Greer's father is... _old fashioned_. Rose was conceived outside of Greer's marriage and that's not even mentioning the fact she is mixed. " _Still?_ "

"He's trying."

"Doesn't look like he is if you're leaving her with me."

"Mary-"

"You need to talk to him, for god sakes, does he know what year it is?" Mary asks, blood boiling just a tiny bit at the thought that anyone would look at this little girl with such _disgust_. She can't even imagine what Greer feels.

"Fine."

"Thank you." Greer says softly, "I went to your office but you weren't there. Why aren't you working today?"

"Can't be walking around Catherine's building looking like someone beat the hell out of me, can I?"

"Did someone-"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. It was an accident."

"Mary-"

"It's a long story that you don't have time for," Mary says quickly as she takes the baby and the bags, smiles as she closes the door. "Bye-bye."

"This isn't over," Greer says as she wedges herself between the doorway and the door. Mary rolls her eyes, she wasn't expecting it to be. She leaves, promising she'll be back in a few hours. It'll be fine, she's had to do this once before, Rose was usually a pretty quiet kid so Mary just sets her down on a blanket on the floor with some toys and goes to take a shower. The quiet doesn't last long. Rose starts to cry seemingly out of the blue and Mary tries everything to get her to _stop_.

"Why?" Mary asks over the shrieking, pacing her apartment with Rose in her arms and she just won't stop. "Is it my eye? It's pretty scary to look at I know." She sets her back down on the blanket and grabs her keys, dangling them in front of the kids face to try to catch her attention, it works. She stops crying for the first time in an hour and reaches for the keys.

"Are you a cat?" Mary asks softly, watching her bat at them before handing them over, "Well, whatever works I guess…" She sits and watches her play, making incoherent noises out of excitement that make Mary laugh softly. She barely hears someone knocking on the door, she expects to see Greer when she opens it, but it's not Greer, no that would be too easy.

"This is harassment," Mary says softly and Francis rolls his eyes.

"Your eye looks better."

"The power of makeup."

"Can I come in?"

"No." She says quickly, looking over her shoulder to check on Rose and his face does something at that, changes to an expression she can't quite read.  
"Why?"

"Because I said no?"

"Is someone in there with you?"

"No." But she says it too soon, Rose decides right now is the perfect time to unleash a shriek so loud it threatens to break the windows. "...My tv is really lou-" She looks back again, she's really crying now, she needs to cut this short. He's giving her this look, a little bit of confusion, a whole lot of curious and he manages to push past her.

"Where did you get _that_?" He asks and his entire face lights up when he sees her. That answers the question if he still wanted kids as badly as he used to.

"That's Greer's daughter." She says softly, trying not to let the look on his face get to her. It gets to her. "Rose." He raises an eyebrow and then picks the screaming child off her place on the floor. She stops crying the second she looks at him.  
"I think she likes me." He smirks and Mary just gapes at him. She spent an hour trying to get her to calm down and all he has to do is _look_ at her.

-/-

A few things she's learned since he let himself into her apartment, one: he's good with babies. Which isn't a surprise, he has younger siblings. She's never actually watched him interact with an infant before though and honestly she isn't sure she can take any more, her heart already feels like it's going to _explode_. Two: Rose likes him. Like _really_ likes him, like she isn't sure if Greer is going to be able to take her away from him.

"Where's James?" Francis asks softly, they're sitting on the floor, Rose is curled up in Francis' lap, asleep.

"He checked into a hotel earlier." She whispers and Francis nods. "He didn't want to break more of my things."

"I'm sorry about that." He says softly, "In my defense, he did come after me first."

"I know…"

"Mary." He says softly and he shifts on the floor to look at her more directly, he's being different than he had been the last few days. Today he seems a bit more comfortable being near her, he's still tense but not as tense. "Did you mean what you said last night?" She barely remembers it, what she said to him.

"I...we can't talk about this right now." She says

"Then when-"  
"When do you go back to Paris?"

"Anxious for me to leave?" He asks with a quirk of an eyebrow. She is, once he leaves everything can go back to how it was before. Not that she wants him to leave, or maybe she does; she isn't sure what she wants anymore. "In two days." He says after a while, "Mary, I know it doesn't seem like it but I really did miss you."

"Stop."

"Why?"  
"Because talking about how much we missed each other is only going to hurt and I don't want to hurt right now." Mary says softly but there's more to it than that and she can tell by his face that he knows it too. She doesn't want to hear how much he missed her, not from the man who pretended she was dead and ignored all of her calls and cut her out of his life like she never mattered and then treated her like a criminal when he did get to see her again.

It's not fair.

"I know...I handled it really badly. All of it." Francis says softly, "And I know that it's going to take a lot for you to forgive me, but can't we at least try to get along? As Friends."

"Friends." She scoffs, "Is that what we are now?"

"It's worth a shot."

"I don't think I can be friends with you, Francis," Mary says softly and he almost says something but Rose starts to wake up, stirring in his arms. Mary nearly forgot she was even there. She wakes up just in time too, Greer enters the apartment without so much as a knock and stops dead in her tracks when she sees who's holding her kid.

"Oh." She tilts her head, "Well isn't this a pretty picture." Mary glares at her and she just smirks.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the wait, I think we all needed something a little more light-hearted.


	8. Chapter 8

_-2 Years Ago-_

She's never been this angry before, it starts at her toes, wraps itself around her legs, coils itself in her gut. She can't hear them over the ringing in her ears or the breaking glass. She starts with the curtains, tears them off the windows and then she starts pulling pictures off the wall and throwing them on the floor.

"Mary, what's going on?!" Kenna shouts, voice desperate for an answer, tries to grab her but she moves away.

"My mother is dead." She says through tears and she stops her destruction to try and catch her breath, it isn't long though, she goes back to breaking whatever she can because she's so angry and that's the only thing she can think of to do. "Apparently she's been sick for a while but...didn't bother to tell me...and I don't even-" Mary pulls at her hair, looks at her friends who are staring at her like she's insane, they're worried, confused. "I don't know how to...I don't even know where her body is or how to get it here."

"Mary are you sure?" Lola asks slowly and she should slap her for that, instead, she slams a vase on the floor and they jump at the sound of it crashing to the ground.

" _Yes!_ " She shrieks, "I'm sure."

"Okay." Greer says softly, "Mary, you have to sto-"  
"No." Another pretty thing meets its end.

"Mary, I understand that you're angry-" She's moved onto the kitchen now, sifting through cabinets and someone comes up behind her, pulls her away and holds onto her and it's Greer, whispering in her ear to calm down and to just _breathe._ Mary let's her ease her to the floor, let's her press her to her chest, let's her run her fingers through her hair. She's trying to breathe but it feels like her lungs are filling with cement like her throat is closing and she _can't_.

"Deep breaths."

"I can't."

"Try."

"I can't." She chokes, squeezing her eyes shut she tries to focus on the simple task, breathing, it doesn't feel very simple. "He won't answer me…" They don't even have to ask who she's talking about. "He won't…"

"I know," Greer says softly, holding her a little more tight.

"My mom is dead."

"Yeah."

"And Francis isn't here."

"No he isn't."

"Someone call him." Mary says softly, "I need him."

"I don't think he'll answ-"

"Just try!" She shrieks and Kenna jumps, pulls her phone out and dials.

"It's ringing." She says softly. At least it rings for her, he just sends Mary straight to voicemail these days. The waiting is _hell_. Kenna shakes her head. "He didn't...answer, Lola." Lola tries too, but he doesn't answer her either, so Greer tries, doesn't answer. They keep calling though and the more they try, the less long it rings. So he's seeing it, he knows they're trying to get a hold of him. What if something actually happened to her? He had to be wondering if Mary was okay since she's the only one who _isn't_ trying to call him right now.

The thought makes her angrier.

"I could be dead."

"Don't say that Mary." Greer says, "You're alive."

"But my mother isn't."

"I-"

"And he can't even…" And she's back to not being able to breathe, gasping for air and shaking in Greers arms and all she can think about is how she could be dead and he wouldn't have any idea because he won't pick up the phone. Lola disappears for a minute and comes back with a paper bag.

"Here. Breathe." She instructs, "I'll keep calling Francis." Mary takes the bag, brings it to her lips, does her best to will air back into her lungs and Lola keeps calling but eventually he just sends her to voicemail too.

"He hates me." Mary says softly.

"He doesn't." Kenna says, sitting on the floor with them, rubbing Marys back, "Bag." She breathes. In, out, in, out.

"Nice and slow." Greer says, "There you go...good." Greer switches places with Kenna, grabs some trash bags and a broom and her and Lola set out to cleaning the mess she made.

"I want Francis." Mary whispers.

"I know." Kenna says softly, "I know you do." Maybe he's busy, maybe he'll get back to them later, he has to be wondering why they're calling him so much. He has to be wondering what happened and if she's okay. She isn't. She made the worst mistake of her life letting him go the way she did and maybe, maybe her mother died so out of the blue was punishment for it. A punishment for hurting him like that. It seemed to fit, the universe is making sure she knows she made a bad decision and it took her mother for it.

She isn't shaking as badly now and the paper bag thing is helping some. Mary no longer has the urge to break everything she can in the house, but realization hits her like a truck. Her mother, who was never much of a mother but, her mother nonetheless, is _dead_. Cancer Mary didn't even know she had, took her too soon and Francis, Francis is gone. He makes no effort to acknowledge her existence anymore.

Mary turns her head, buries her face in Kenna's chest and let's herself break. Kenna's arms tighten around her.

"I can leave him a voicemail."

"He won't listen to it." She cries, "He probably deletes all of mine. I've left him so many already. I don't know what else to do…I just want him to talk to me." She's left angry voicemails, sad voicemails, voicemails begging him to come back, to forget everything she said and that she wants to try. He never calls her back, never texts her back, she asked Bash how he was doing and he wouldn't even tell her anything.

He's done with her.

 _-/-_

It took nearly a month to get her body back home and then Mary had to decide what to do with it. She didn't know, her mother never talked to her about what to do when she's gone. Burial seemed too traditional, cremation seemed too barbaric. She chose burial. Mary spent the next few days trying to track down old friends and new friends, she's sure she missed a few, considering she knew next to nothing of her mother's life. She didn't even tell her she was dying. Figures.

Catherine helped some, to an extent, she knew her mother better than Mary did and she did her best to help her deliver the news to her friends but she doesn't mention telling Francis until the day of the funeral. Mary can't tell him, she's been trying to tell him he won't answer and she's pretty sure he has her number blocked now.

"I didn't tell Francis." Catherine says softly as they walk through the cemetery and Mary stops walking. "For my own selfish reasons."

"He would have come back," Mary says softly and he would have, had he answered that night, he would have gotten on a plane and been at her door as soon as he could.

And she'd have to break him all over again.

"Has anyone told him?"

"I'm not sure."

" _Great._ " Mary says softly, wipes at her tears, "I hope someone does because he won't answer for me and he should know."

* * *

 _-Present-_

"Kenna I really don't feel lik-"

"Nonsense." Kenna says, raising a hand to interrupt her protest, "Lola is back from visiting her parents, judging by your eye and Greer, _I_ have missed out on quite a bit. So. We're going. Put this on." Kenna smiles as she hands her something small and tight, and black. She's not sure it should even call itself a dress.

"I'll go but I'm not wearing this." Mary says and Kenna pouts. "What's that face?"

"What if we run into Your Francis?"

"...What does that have to do with this tiny thing you're calling a dress?"

"You're right." She says with a click of her tongue, "You could be drenched in tar and covered in feathers and he'd still _ravish_ you."

" _Kenna!_ "

"It's true, go get dressed."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Kenna."

"Mary." Kenna says her name with just as much firmness as Mary said hers, she isn't going to get an answer. She rolls her eyes and heads to her room. Mary tosses the dress on her bed, she isn't wearing that.

"It's going to be a wonderful time, all the girls together. Greer even got tonight off and her nanny has returned with a clean bill of health." Kenna chatters through the door, "A nice get together of childhood girlfriends and some _old_ friends perhaps."

"Kenna, please tell me you _didn't_." Mary says shoving a white sweater on and pulling on some black jeans. "Kenna-"

"Alright, alright, I may have said something to Bash."

"Keeennnnaaaaa."

"Don't worry, everything is going to be fine."

"If Francis shows up I might actually kill you."

"It pains me to hear you say that." Kenna whines and she walks out of her room, it only makes her frown more, "I was hoping for something a tiny bit more slutty."

"Kenna-"  
"A lot more slutty."

"Kenna-"

"Gotta getcha back out there." She says patting Mary on the top of her head, "Gotta get back on the horse, ya know?"

"Please stop."

"I know of a certain pretty blonde fellow you could take for a _spin._ " She says her mouth twisting into something sinister and Mary rolls her eyes, "You do have a history of riding hi-"  
"I'm going to throw up." Mary mutters and Kenna tilts her head.

"We haven't even started drinking yet-" She gasps, "Are you pregnant? Did you already make sweet love to him and not tell me?"

"No."

"Because you have a history of not telling me things."

"I'm not pregnant and I didn't sleep with Francis, can you stop, please?"

"Yet."

" _KENNA"_

"Alright I'll stop." Kenna says softly, "But if Francis does show up I'm going in."

"Go for it."

"So many jokes, Mary."

"He's all yours."

"I even wrote some down."

"Talk his ear off." Mary says as she grabs her coat and they head out the door.

 _-/-_

Greer chose the wrong night to take off, the bar is very busy tonight and Greer just watches as the other waiters and bartenders scramble to get things done with a smirk. She drums her fingernails on the tabletop.

"Lola how was Virginia?" Mary asks and Lola shrugs. She usually has a lot of stories to tell them when she comes back from visiting her parents, but she's quiet tonight.

"It was fine." She answers with a tiny smile.

"Is your mother feeling better?" Greer asks

"Yes."

"You're acting strange." Kenna squints her eyes at her, "Why are you acting strange?"

"I'm not acting strange." Lola says quickly but they all catch sight of it when she turns her head, her scarf falls a little and they see a nice round, hickey.

"LOLA IS THAT A-" Kenna's shout is interrupted by Lola's loud shushing and Kenna is basically bouncing up in down in the booth.

"Okay, okay." Lola says softly, "I wasn't...visiting my parents…"

"I think that's obvious." Greer smirks, "Spill, before Kenna implodes next to you."

"It hasn't been long, to be honest I feel kind of gross with how quickly we moved…"

"Is it good?" Kenna asks, raises an eyebrow when everyone looks over at her, "What? At least someone is getting _something_."

"It's...fine?"

"God, you're worse at this than Mary."

"Hey." Mary exclaims.

"I'm sorry, I love you, but getting details out of you was equivalent to pulling teeth out of a T-rex. It just wasn't happening." Mary leans back, it's true though and they turn their attention back to Lola, who she was sure was turning one hundred different shades of red under these dim lights.

"Look, it's new and fun and...okay Kenna, the sex is fantastic, _there_." Lola says quickly and Kenna claps her hands together.

"I'm so happy for you." She smiles.

"Okay but, who are you seeing?" Greer asks.

"And why keep it secret?" Mary asks. And yeah, okay, maybe she shouldn't have said that.

"You are the queen of secret keeping!" Greer says with an incredulous look, "Miss _I've-been-sleeping-with-Francis-for-years._ "

"In my defense." She says, "We didn't try very hard to keep it a secret."

"We know. Learn to lock a door." Lola smirks.

"Learn to knock?" They all turn their heads at the sound of that voice and of course, of course, it's Francis. "And you can't tell me none of you knew, or at least suspected it."

"You're right the disappearing acts and bed sharing should have been a dead give away," Greer says dryly and Mary wants very desperately to disappear from this conversation.

"When did we share a bed?" He asks, " _Around_ you."

"I don't know you guys seemed pretty _comfortable_ in yours when I walked in to ask for help on my homework." Claude says walking up to the table. "What with your hand between her legs and whatnot."

" _Ohmygod._ " Mary groans, she forgot about _that._

"If Catherine's eyes could shoot fire, Mary would have been a pile of ash." Bash smirks as he rounds the corner and Kenna's basically _glowing_ now.

"I have not heard this story." Kenna says.

"You don't want to." Mary says softly.

"No I'm pretty sure I want to."

"So, Lola, I don't believe you told us who gave you that lovely hickey." Mary smiles sweetly, desperate to change the subject and Lola slides further down in her seat as _everyone's_ eyes turned to her.

"Lola has a hickey?" Claude questions, craning to see but Lola doesn't budge.

"Is it someone we know?" Kenna asks. She nods. "Is it Bash?"

"No."

"It's not Colin again, is it?" Greer says with a mildly disgusted expression and Lola shakes her head.

"I'm running out of guy's." Kenna says softly and then she gasps, " _Francis?_ "

"NO." She says it too quickly and Mary feels her heart plummet to her stomach.

"It's not." Francis says it more firmly, it must have shown on her face, "We made out _once_ at a party a million years ago and you won't let us live it down."

"We were so drunk." Lola giggles and Kenna pinches her side.

"Tell us who it is!"

"Okay, Jesus!" Lola shouts, "It's Stephane Narcisse." She sinks down in her seat and everything is quiet now.

"Oh my god." Claude's the first to speak, laughter sputtering out of her mouth and she covers it quickly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh wow...Good luck with _that._ "

"Lola…" Greer says slowly.

"Look I know he's a terrible person, who has done questionable things but he's...different." Lola says softly, "He's a completely different person when we're together and I think it could become quite serious. So. Say what you want, I won't change my mind."

"Ew." Francis says.

"I second that." Bash says with a sip of his drink.

"Can we talk about something else now?" Lola asks softly, "For instance, Mary what the hell happened to your eye?"  
"Ooooh, I forgot to ask about that," Kenna says, shaking off her disgust at Lola's reveal of her lover.

* * *

Mary hugs her coat tighter around her body as she exits the bar. The wind making it feel colder than it actually was.

"Hey." Francis makes her jump, she thought he left. He tosses his cigarette on the sidewalk and then puts it out with his foot. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah I have to work tomorrow." She says softly and then she turns to start walking and he stops her.

"Are you walking?"

"Yeah. I don't live far from here."

"Alone?" He asks with a tilt of his head and she shrugs. Kenna was supposed to walk with her but she got distracted by Bash and Mary didn't bother to remind her that she has to leave. Lola and Greer left hours ago. So, yeah, guess she is walking alone.

"Uh...yeah." She says, "As I said it isn't far...so." Francis nods and she turns to leave again.

"Wait."

"I'm tired." She says, spinning on her heels. "What?"

"At least let me walk you home, Mary." And she should probably say no to that, should probably insist that she's walked this way before and that she'll be fine, but it's late and it's _dark_ and he's _offering_. She'd rather not walk alone.

"Okay." He seems surprised when she agrees but he doesn't question it, he just falls into step next to her.

If she thought being locked in an elevator with him was awkward, this was _worse_. Neither one of them are saying anything, she just focuses on the sound of her shoes hitting the pavement. Mary opens her mouth to speak but instead she jumps when a group of rowdy (presumably _very_ drunk) men walk by them. They make their comments as they walk by, eyeing her and Mary rolls her eyes.

"Sorry." She says quickly when she realizes in her hurry to move out of their way she grabbed the first thing her hands could find, which happened to be Francis. She let's go of his arm and moves away.

"It's alright." He says softly.

"You're leaving tomorrow?" She asks and he shakes his head.

"The day after."

"Oh."

"Sorry to disappoint." She sees him smirk out of the corner of her eye.

"No, I just...thought you said two days before."

"Things change." _That they do._ "Oh, here we are." They stop in front of her apartment building and she moves towards the steps.

"Thanks…"

"No problem." He says softly, "I guess I'll see you around." And then he turns away to head back.

"Francis." He quirks a brow as he turns around and she almost, _almost_ asks him if he wants to come in, it's cold and late. She shakes her head, it wouldn't be a good idea, she doesn't care if the few drinks she did have are telling her otherwise. "Nothing." She says on an exhale. He gives her a look but doesn't question her, he just stands there and for some stupid reason, the question she's been wanting to ask flies out of her mouth.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" She asks, "In...the elevator." It's the alcohol in her system making her ask him that, surely and she should probably turn around walk up the steps to her apartment because if he keeps looking at her like _that,_ she might do something stupid.

The stupid thing being Francis, of course.

Instead of turning and going she just walks over to him.

"That's a random question." He says softly.

"Random questions are deserving of answers too."

"What would you have done if I had?"

"You can't answer my question with another question, Francis."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because?" He asks and then he's coming closer and she wants to slap him. She asked a simple question and he can't even answer. "I didn't do it, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop. And…" He brushes a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"And?"

"I didn't know if you wanted me to." He says softly. She doesn't say anything and he takes that as some unspoken confirmation that she did want him to and then he's so close and so warm. He tilts her chin up and leans in.

She jumps back when a loud car passes by, puts a hand on his chest to stop him.

"I'm going to go inside now." She whispers and turns up the steps quickly.

"Goodnight, Mary." Her ears pick up the laugh in his voice as she closes the door. She _can't_ be friends with Francis.


	9. Chapter 9

_-1 Year Ago-_

It's quiet for most of the drive there, but when she pulls over she turns to her, drawing Mary's attention from the window.

"Mary, are you sure about this?" Lola asks softly and she shrugs, she isn't sure. This probably isn't a good idea, but she has to do _something_. "Do you even-"

"I can't just sit back and let him ignore me for the rest of my life."

"It _has_ been a year…" Lola says sadly, and she knows what she means by that. It's been a year, he may have moved on by now. He may have found someone who won't throw him away a week after promising to spend the rest of her life with him. Someone who'd go with him to the ends of the world if he asked without giving her job or her friends a second thought.

"I just…" Mary shakes her head, she has to talk to him. Their last conversation can't be _it_.

"Do you know where he is?"

"No." She says softly, she asked around but no one would tell her, she knows the area he'll be residing in, she has no idea where that is though, she doesn't have a definitive address and he could have moved. "I have to try."

"Just be careful…"

"I will."

"Call me as soon as you land."

"Okay."

"Not a moment after."

"Lola-"  
"And if you find him, give him a nice slap in the face from me," Lola smirks and Mary nods.

"Lola…" She says softly, "Don't...tell anyone, okay?"

"Secrets safe with me." Mary sighs, she's glad Lola won't say anything. She knows she's good for it, she held onto Mary and Francis being a thing for more than a year without saying anything. Her stomach ties itself in knots. She wishes she could know exactly where he was so it would be easier to find him, but he won't answer any of her calls and his siblings all hate her now, Lord knows _Catherine_ isn't about to tell her where he lives. She's sure, he won't receive her well, he probably won't even come to the door.

"I can't...I can't have people hoping for something, the likely outcome of this is he slams the door in my face." She says that's _if_ she manages to find him.

"I doubt that." Lola says softly and then she smiles a tiny smile, "You should probably get going."

"I'm scared."

"Don't be." Lola says quickly, "Listen if Francis...slams the door in your face, begs you to leave, or you guys fight. At least you can say you tried. He'll see that you tried and maybe that'll be enough." She hasn't stopped trying; if he sees her calls and texts or listened to any of her voicemails he would know that she still needs him. Honestly, if anything, he should have seen this coming.

 _-/-_

She's sure if she wanted to back out, Lola may still be out there. The ticket feels oddly heavy in her hand and she should take that as a sign. This probably isn't a good idea, but he can't ignore her forever, he knows he can't.

 **Lola:** _"Have you boarded yet?"_

 **Mary:** _"No, why?"_

 **Lola:** _"Just wondering. Mary, are you 100% sure you want to do this?"_ She isn't, it could go fine or it could go really really bad. She shakes her head, jumping at the loud eruption of the intercom announcing that her flight leaves in ten minutes. Well, she should probably line up at the gate at least. She pulls out her phone, finger hovers over his name, she's sure he has her number blocked, but maybe if she calls and he answers, maybe she could tell him she's coming and if he doesn't want her to, he can stop her.

She goes straight to voicemail so she calls again and then she calls Bash, but he doesn't answer either. Guess she's going. He can't stop her if he doesn't answer.

She sends a quick message to Lola that she's about to leave and she'll need to turn her phone off and then she grabs her bag with trembling fingers and gets on the plane.

If she finds him and he's pissed at her for coming, he can yell at her, at least then he'll be acknowledging her existence.

* * *

 _-Present-_

Lola stabs at her salad as she glances at Mary. She sighs heavily but doesn't say anything and Mary raises an eyebrow at her. They're in her office having lunch, which they should really do more often; she feels like she doesn't get much one on one time with Lola these days.

"Something on your mind?" Mary asks softly, tilting her head at her friend and she leans back in her chair.

"Yeah…" She says, "But I shouldn't…"  
"Is it about Francis?" Mary asks and she nods, she bites her lip, "What about him?"

"He's leaving tomorrow."

"He is…"

"He walked you home last night."

"How did you-"

"Kenna saw you leave with him."

"Surprised she didn't say anything," Mary mutters, surprised she didn't wake up to a million messages assuming she took him inside and they-

"How was that?"

"Awkward."

"Oh," Lola says softly and maybe Mary should tell her about the almost kiss, how he had no intention of pulling away this time and if it hadn't been for that car making Mary come back to her senses, he _definitely_ would have done it. She doesn't say anything though, just takes a bite of her food to keep the words from slipping out of her mouth.

"What?"

"I just…" Lola shrugs, "You guys haven't talked much have you?"

"Why?" She asks, is there something she should be made aware of? They've run into each other plenty of times these last few days, but they didn't talk about anything of importance aside from the night he and James got into it.

"Have you told him about how you went to-"  
"No."

"Don't you think maybe you should?" Lola asks and Mary shakes her head. She's not sure what that would do to him, knowing she went after him and if he had picked up the phone once, maybe things would be different between them. She's not sure that would fix it. "It could make things less tense."

"He's leaving tomorrow so I really don't think there's a point in telling him."

"It could make him stay-"

"Lola." Mary says quickly, "Don't."

"I'm just saying."

"He can't...He can't stay."

"Maybe he could." Mary gives her a look, "How much more can he get from that job anyway? It's been two years now, he's experienced it, I'm sure he's satisfied."

"I won't let him stay for me."

"Maybe not entirely for you."

"If he hasn't come back because he misses his siblings and his mother or his friends, he has no intention of coming back at all."

"You don't know that."

"Do you?" Mary asks, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No, I just think you should talk about everything."

"Have the same fight all over again, you mean."

"Mary, you have so much bottled up and you need to let it out." She says softly, "He left you and then refused to talk to you for _years_."

"He left me because I told him to go and by the time I broke up with him it was too late to decide to stay." Mary says, "And he didn't talk to me because I hurt him."

"There's no excuse for it."

"Lola-"

"You're forgetting you're not the only one he cut out of his life," Lola says softly and Mary feels her stomach flip. She's right. He didn't just leave Mary, he left her friends too. Her friends, who became his friends, Lola becoming a close friend to him more than the others. He probably did it to keep from having to hear about Mary or to keep information about how he's doing or where he is away from Mary. She reaches, squeezes her friends hand.

"I know…" She says softly, "It wasn't fair."

"All I'm saying is, maybe he just needs a reason."

"If I see him today...I guess I'll try to say something, but Lola that could go a million different ways, you're telling me I need to unleash holy hell on Francis."

"Maybe don't go that far." Lola smiles a tiny smile, but she knows the second she starts it won't be able to be stopped. She's been so angry with him for so long and she just keeps shoving it down, not willing to hurt him more than she already had. But while she understood, to an extent, why he cut Mary out, there was no excuse for doing it to Lola too. And Greer and Kenna.

"It could go in your favor." Lola smirks, "All that tension bubbling up to the surface could score you one more night tangled up with Your Francis."

"You've been spending too much time with Kenna." Mary says, "And sure, _that_ wouldn't complicate things further."

"It's okay to want him, Mary."

"Eat your salad." Mary chokes on a cough, "Now, Narcisse. How the hell did that happen?"

 _-/-_

 **Mary:** _"I think we should talk."_

 **Francis:** _"Okay."_ She sighs as she tosses her phone on her desk and runs her fingers through her hair. It'll be fine, she just has to keep herself calm. Lola's right, he should know she went to Paris, that she tried to find him and fix it.

It's nearing midnight when there's a tentative knock on her office door that makes her jump. She should have left hours ago, but she's so behind on work that she decided to try and get a good chunk of it done. Mary closes her laptop and as she rises, the door opens.

"Hey." Francis says softly as he walks in, closing the door behind him, "You weren't home, so I came here."

"I had some stuff to catch up on…"

"It's late."

"I wasn't aware I had a curfew." She says dryly and he blinks.

"I didn't mean-"

"I know." She says quickly, "I'm just tired."

"You wanted to talk." She swallows as she tries to figure out how to say this, does she just say it? How do you ease into this?

"Francis…" She says softly, "I went to Paris."

"Huh?"

"A year ago. I was looking for you, but obviously, I didn't find you." He's giving her a confused look, she gets to watch as it sinks into him.

"You what?" It comes out soft, she barely hears it and when he steps towards her, she steps back. "You went to Paris?"

"I called you, I wanted you to tell me where you were so we could...I don't know, fix it. But you wouldn't answer me, you never answered me."

"Mary-"

"I just thought you...that you should know." He doesn't say anything at first, he just stares at her as he tries to process it. This reminds her too much of two years ago.

"You couldn't have told me this sooner?" He asks.

"You couldn't have picked up the phone?"

"Mary-"  
"Francis."

"Can you not see it from my perspective?"

"I've been seeing it from your perspective, that's why I never said anything, but I'm not the only one you forced out of your life, Francis." She snaps, she knew this would happen. That's why she didn't want to say anything to him, she feels the anger she's been shoving down for so long start to bubble up to the surface. "What if something had happened to me? Would you have ever known?"

"Of course I would have."

"You didn't know my mother died, or that Greer had a baby, I don't see the difference."

"I didn't spend every single day with your mother, I wasn't intimate with either one of them, I didn't _almost marry_ one of them," He says, "I wasn't in love with Greer or your mother; that's the damn difference, Mary. Someone would have told me."

"I just can't help thinking that maybe if you answered the phone once that things would be different."

"You were the one who decided it wouldn't work." He says softly, "Losing you was awful, it's the worst pain I've ever felt. I know that isn't an excuse, sure as hell isn't much of an apology, but I am sorry for how I handled things."

"That doesn't…" She shakes her head, runs a hand through her hair. It doesn't fix anything, he can say he's sorry all he wants, it doesn't change _anything_.

"What?"

"Nothing." She says softly.

"No." He says quickly, walks over to her, "Say it."

"There's no p-"  
"Talk to me."

"You turned me into a ghost, Francis!" It comes out as a shout, bounces off the walls and he steps back, "People who still had a role in your life pulled away from me, people I thought were my friends, who I considered my family. Trying to get someone to just tell me how you were was like...trying to put a fire out with gasoline. It wasn't happening. All I wanted was to know if you were happy, so I could be sure that I made the right decision because it felt like the wrong one the second you walked out the damn door." She swallows the lump in her throat, "So, you can say sorry a million times in a million different ways, that doesn't change the fact that I have had to deal with months and years of being picked apart for a decision I made _for_ you."

"I didn't ask them to do that, Mary," Francis says softly and he sounds like he genuinely didn't know that they had. "I didn't tell them to push you away."

"You didn't have to."

"Mary." He says but she doesn't say anything, just starts packing her things up. It's late, she's sure he has to get up early in the morning to head back to Paris and she isn't going to get anything done with him here. "Mary." Her name leaves his lips in a more pleading tone than the firm one he used previously.

"I should really be heading home, Francis." She says softly as she grabs her keys and her bag and heads for the door.

"Mary, I'm leaving in the morning is this really how you want to leave things?"

"Better than last time."

"Mary-"

"It was nice seeing you, Francis." She says softly and she means it. She really did miss him so much. She leaves him in her office, surprised he doesn't follow her and she goes home.

* * *

She just pulls her sweatpants on when there's a knock on the door, Mary's not at all surprised to see who's standing there when she rips it open.

"Francis…" She says softly.

"Hey."

"Wha-"

"We're not leaving things like that." He says and then he's inside before she can stop him. She sighs as she closes the door. "You have every right to be angry, Mary."

"I-"

"Just like I had every right to be angry with you, but I know I shouldn't have treated you the way I did this whole week. The last few years, I should have talked to you when you reached out instead of ignoring you and that goes for your friends as well. I shouldn't have cut them out and I know there's nothing I can do or say that's going to change how that must have made you feel but dammit, I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

"I know." She says softly and she's about to ask him to leave, but then he's walking up to her.

"And while we're on the topic of things I should have done," He says, "I should have kissed you in that elevator."

"Francis."

"On the street outside your apartment." And then he's closer, fingers coming up to brush her hair behind her ear, and when did it get so hard to breathe? "Thirty minutes ago in your office." They're nose to nose and she didn't notice until just now that she's clinging to him, fingers tangled in his shirt as he continues to steal the air out of her lungs. "Right now."

Before she can say anything, not that she could even speak if she tried, he's pulling her to him. The first brush of his lips against hers is soft and tentative and she returns it just as tentatively, but the second time. The second time is _sure_ and he closes what little space is left between them, tugging her close until she's flush against his body.

Mary's arms go around his neck and her fingers find his curls, his hand finds the exposed skin of her back and that only drives her further into madness. Her mind doing a million things and nothing all at once. Francis is kissing her, here, right now; it feels like no time has passed since the last time he kissed her. He still feels like Francis, and tastes like Francis- even with the slight taste of cigarettes on his tongue- its still Francis. Right down to the way he tugs her bottom lip between her teeth.

She doesn't realize they were moving until her back hits her couch cushions and then he's on top of her.

"Francis."

"Hm?" He hums as his lips find her neck and she shifts under him, pushing against him to get him to stop, "What is it?"

"My room is that way." She points and he laughs as he pulls her up, not letting go of her fingers as she drags him to her room.

* * *

A/N: We're heading to the finish line, guys.

(My Tumblr is Mizzswan if you want to go check that out and have a chat I don't know. I don't post my stories there, but I do post a ton of frary stuff).


	10. Chapter 10

When she reaches, she finds the space next to her cold and empty and when she cracks her eyes open she doesn't see him. The room is still dark, looking at the window she sees that it's barely light out.

"Francis?" Mary questions. Did he already leave? Was that it? Was last night just a goodbye? Her stomach twists at that and she moves to get up.

"I'm still here." Her head snaps to the corner of the room and there he is, buttoning up his shirt and the knot in her stomach loosens.

"It's still dark outside."

"I see that." He smirks and then he walks over, sits on the edge of the bed, brushes her hair back, "I didn't want to wake you, you should go back to sleep."

"Are you leaving?" She asks softly and he nods.

"I've already stayed longer than I was given time for, I have to." Right, Paris. She figured this wouldn't change that, he has a whole other life over there and one night with her wasn't going to make him abandon it. It doesn't make this hurt less. "Mary."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry." He says softly, "For everything."

"I know."

"I wish we did this sooner."

"Apologies or the sex?"

"Both."

"You don't have to leave right now." She suggests and he seems to consider it, but he shakes his head.

"Bash is outside." He sighs, "Not that you being naked in this bed isn't tempting enough to make him wait." Speaking of, they should probably talk about that, things are so different now. She's not sure what this means for them. Kenna's gonna have a field day with this new development.

"Uh…" She starts and then stops and then opens her mouth to start again but he stops her. He kisses her softly but it lingers a little longer than he probably intended and if Bash wasn't outside waiting for him he probably would have crawled back into bed with her, but he pulls away reluctantly and she pouts. He's right they should have done this sooner, all of it, she could have had more than one night with him. "I shouldn't keep you then."

"Unfortunately."

"Francis."

"Hm?"

"What happens now?" She asks softly, do they go back to how things were years ago? Surely they can't, too much time has passed since and there's been too much hurt to just pretend it never happened. Even if she wants to. She's not sure he wants to, she used to be good at reading him, knowing what he wanted. Another example of how much time has passed, she can't read him like that anymore. He shrugs.

"Mary, I still want a future with you if you're open to it." He says softly and she tries to speak but he interrupts her, "I know your opinion on Paris, I know you think it won't work, but it would mean the world to me if we tried to make it work."

"Okay."

"Really?" He seems surprised and she nods, "Wow that was easy."

"I told you I changed my mind the second you left. You'd know that if yo-"

"Answered the phone, I know." He says and she smiles, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's really not."

"Francis. I'm okay, it's okay." She says softly and she interlaces her fingers with his, "Though, I'm not the only one you need to apologize to."

"Right."

"Just...promise you'll answer when I call you. Maybe not every time I know you'll be busy."

"I promise." He smiles and he leans forward but before he can connect their lips again, his phone rings and his head falls to her shoulder with a groan and Mary laughs.

"You should probably answer that."

"I'd really rather not." He says softly as he presses a tiny kiss to her shoulder, she jumps when she feels a slight drag of his teeth against her skin and then he pulls away, answers with a roll of his eyes. When he's done taking the call, he stands. "I have to go now."

"Oh."

"Don't look at me like thaaaatt."

"Like what?"

"Like your whole world just ended." He says softly, "Hey."

"What?"  
"I love you." He smiles and she smiles too, he doesn't move towards the door, just stares at her.

"I love you too."

"Yeah." He tosses his phone on her dresser, "Bash can _wait._ " He says as he comes back to her and she yelps when he shoves her back down on the mattress.

"Francis!" She squeaks when he tears the sheet off of her and starts covering her in soft kisses.

"What?" He laughs as she squirms, "I'm just making up for lost time." He winks, "I missed you so so much."

"What about you-"  
"I forgot how talkative you are." He says softly, "No more, the only sounds I want to hear are the ones I drag out of you." And then his mouth is on hers and all talking ceases and they both ignore the ringing for a little while.

* * *

Before she knows it, the snow is melted and it's been a month and a half since she last saw him, but he calls every day and he answers every time she calls him. Even if it's three in the morning where he is and she just woke him up. Mary groans as she browses the toy aisle, looking at her watch. She should have been smart and gotten this done days ago.

"Having trouble?" Francis asks and she rolls her eyes.

"What do you get a one-year-old What do they do? What do they like?" She asks and he laughs.

"What does Rose like?"

"I don't know, sleeping?"

"I've never related more to an infant." He says softly.

"I'm sorry, are you tired? Did I wake you up again?"

"No, baby." He says softly, her stomach flips at that, but she can hear it in his voice, he sounds exhausted. "Get her a book."

"Who gets a kid a book for her birthday? I'm supposed to be the cool aunt. Cool aunts don't gift _books_."

"Considering you don't know what she likes to do I think you're losing in the _cool aunt_ category."

"Shut up."

"Mary, whatever you pick I'm sure she'll love it."

"You're just saying that." She says softly, picking up a stuffed elephant, she puts it back; she has hundreds of stuffed animals and she doesn't want to get her something she already has. "What if she hates it and then hates me? Every time she hears my name she'll be like, " _Ugh Mary Stuart? She got me a book for my first birthday, who does that?_ " I have to get her something she'll actually like."

"Forgive me, Mary, but I think you're thinking way too much about this," Francis says and she can hear that he's trying not to laugh at her misfortune. She groans again, "Just pick something."

"I can't."

"Mary for the love of-"

"I wish you were here." She says softly. "You're better with at baby things than me."

"Believe me I wish I was there too." He sighs, "The baby things debatable."

"Uh, Rose didn't stop screaming until you held her."

"That was Rose." He says, "Ever wonder where Herc got that scar on the side of his head?"

"...What did you do?"

"I picked him up and he didn't want me, squirmed until he fell right into the coffee table."

"Francis!"

"It wasn't my fault, he shouldn't have squirmed so much. He's fine."

"You know I always thought he acted a little odd."

"He's fine," Francis says again.

"Seemed like he may have been dropped on his head at some point in his development."

"Stop it. He's _fine._ " She laughs softly, thumbs through tiny baby outfits.

"Don't drop our kids." She says, "I'll kill you."

"Kids? With an S?"

"Francis."

"Is that a yes to seven?"  
"Okay, no to seven." She says softly, "Yes to two."

"Two?"

"Two."

"How are we supposed to have a tiny baby army if you only let us have two?" He asks and she makes a face.

"A what now?" She shakes her head, she's not sure she wants to know, "Okay, two and a puppy."

"Three and a puppy."

"Francis."

"I see this is a conversation for later."

"For later _and_ in person." She says as she continues to look through clothes, she's not really finding anything. She's about to just ask Lola to add her name to her gift. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Am I still the cool aunt if I buy her clothes?" She asks and he laughs.

"Mary, she's one."

"I know."

"She's not going to remember who got her what." He says, "Just pick something before you're late and Greer skins you."

"She can try to skin me."

"I watched her take a grown man, twice her size, down with a frying pan. She will _skin you_."

"Oh!" She exclaims.

"What?"

"I found something."

"What is it?"

"It's one of those pomsie pets."

"Pomsie _what_?"

"It's one of those interactive stuffed animal thingies." She says, tossing it in the cart, realizing last minute she probably just broke it.

"Good job." Francis says softly and she smiles, "I have to go. Try to have fun, okay?"

"It's a one-year-olds' birthday party, Francis." She says, "It's going to be a rager."

"Okay." He laughs, "I'll call you later."

 _-/-_

The party is what you'd expect it to be, Rose naps for most of it; being a baby and whatnot. When she's awake, she gets passed around like a doll and winds up on Mary's lap towards the end. Greer's dad came to the party, which was surprising and he even brought a gift for little Rosie but he left earlier than everyone else and he and Greer didn't even speak to each other much.

"So, this was fun." Kenna says softly as she sits at the dining table, "But I think it's time for some adult fun."

"Kenna, I love you but I don't love you that much," Lola says as she makes a face, Kenna makes one back, opens her mouth to speak but Greer comes back from putting Rose to bed and slams a wine bottle on the table.

"Oh. I see Greer was thinking the same." Kenna smirks, clapping her hands together.

"I put Rose to bed, poor thing was exhausted." Greer sighs as she sets some glasses down, "And now I want to just drink. Thank you guys for coming."

"No problem." Kenna smacks her back and she jumps, "I see your dad showed up."

"How'd you talk him into that?" Lola asks as she pours, setting a glass in front of Mary, "I thought he didn't approve."

"Surprisingly it took little convincing. I think my sister said something to him."

"Well, it's nice to see him coming around. Even if it is for five minutes."

"Oh, Mary." Kenna says suddenly, "Have you talked to Francis since he left?" She asks it as if she already knows and Mary blinks.

"Yeah…"

"Oh is he not ghosting you?"

"Nope." She says, "Actually, uh…I slept with him?"

"What!?" Everyone's eyes are on her now.

"I thought you guys knew that oops."

"No, you didn't tell us!" Kenna exclaims, "When? How? Are you guys back together?" Kenna throws several questions her way and Greer puts a hand over Kenna's mouth.

"Let her answer before you ask more."

"Uh...before he left, and yes we're trying…" She says softly and she really really thought she mentioned something to them, maybe she didn't. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I knew you couldn't stay away from each other." Lola shakes her head, "Well, I'm happy for you." She smiles and they talk some more about it but then Mary asks about Narcisse and the subject switches over. Now that they know about her and Francis, she's sure everyone else will figure it out too. Kenna and Greer eventually leave the table to clean up more and she stays with Lola, who's watching her with a careful eye.

"You're not drinking," Lola says softly, gesturing at Marys untouched wine glass and she shrugs.

"I have to work tomorrow." She says but Lola squints her eyes at her.

"That's never stopped you before."

"Lola-"

"Wait." Lola gasps, "Oh my god-" Mary shushes her quickly, "Are-"

"Lola, hush," Mary says quickly when she sees the other two heading back to the table, they're giggly and a little more energized than they were before, but they notice Lola's face, looking at Mary like she just cracked the code to the most complicated puzzle in existence.

"What's going on?" Greer asks as she sits down, "Lola are you feeling okay?"

"You should ask Mary that," Lola says with a smile and she chews at her lip, shushes her some more, now they're all looking at her like she's crazy and she sees Kenna slowly piecing it together and she gasps, loudly.

"What? What? What's going on?" Greer asks quickly, "What is everyone gasping at?"

"Greer." Mary says softly, "Uh…"

"Mary, for god's sake, if you don't say it, I will," Kenna warns, and they all wait for her to just let it out, to say it, but she doesn't, she just smirks.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She smiles and Lola reaches for her wine glass, removing it from Mary and Greer, bless her, _finally_ gets it.

"Oh my god!" She squeaks, "Really?" Mary rolls her eyes.

"Have you told Francis?" Lola asks.

"Told him what? That we had sex? Give him some credit, he may be blonde but he's not _that_ dense."

"You're not going to tell us, are you?" Kenna pouts. She doesn't see why she would need too, they already figured it out, besides it's still early and she doesn't want to confirm it with them in case something happens. So, she just sits, pretends she doesn't know what they're talking about and eventually they drop it.

Greer walks her to her car when she decides it's time to leave, saying goodbye to Lola, laughs when Kenna gives her a tiny wave from the couch as she's falling asleep.

"Hey," Greer says softly.

"Yes?" Mary asks as she unlocks her car.

"Are you excited?" She asks softly and Mary shrugs.

"Honestly, I'm pretty scared." She doesn't know the first thing about infants, and all the times she's had to watch Rose, just proves she doesn't. She has no idea how to mother one of those tiny humans, add in the fact Francis is in Paris and you got yourself a trainwreck.

"You'll be fine."

"I hope."

"Mary, it's terrifying, but you have Francis and all, I don't even know how many there are, of his siblings, and _Catherine._ "

"Catherine…"

"You thought she was overbearing before, you're never going to be able to get her to leave you alone when she finds out about this." Greer smirks, "And you have us."

"Yeah, gosh that's a lot of people…"

"Takes a village."

"Hey, at least Rosie will have someone to play with now." Mary smiles and Greer laughs, "I just hope everything...is okay…"

"Why are you in p-"

"No." She says quickly, "But you know...it's early." And Greer nods and then she hugs her, pulls her into her, rubs her back.

"Get plenty of rest and try not to stress yourself out too much," She says, "And tell Francis." She sighs, she wants to tell him in person, it's not something that should be heard over the phone. But she isn't sure when he'll be able to come to visit and she'd rather not be showing by the time she can finally tell him.

She's sure if she tells him over the phone, he'll get on a plane as soon as he can.

* * *

She tells Catherine she's sick, it's not entirely false, she spends most of her free time in the bathroom or with her head in her trash can at work, but she has an appointment. It feels pretty real now, as she lays there on the table.

"This'll be a little cold at first." The doctor says as she squeezes out the gross gel on her stomach and she's right, Mary jumps when it touches her; it's pretty cold. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh...okay." She says softly, "The morning sickness is pretty bad."

"We can give you something for that, it'll get better the farther along you get. How far-"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay." She says softly and she turns the monitor away from Mary, squints.

"What?" Mary asks quickly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She smiles, "It looks like you're about six or so weeks, everything looks good."

"Yeah?"

"Look." She turns the monitor towards her and Mary squints at it, "See that little blob? Looks like a bean?"

"Yeah."

"That's your baby."

"That's it?" She asks softly, "Wow, it's so tiny." She smiles, tilts her head at it. It looks like a peanut, it doesn't look like a baby yet. She doesn't know what she expected it to look like, she didn't expect it to be so so tiny. The girl laughs.

"Yeah, they're pretty small at this point." She shakes her head, "Everything looks great, measuring where it should, we can give you something for nausea. I'm going to go print this off, how many did you want?"

"Two."

"Okay, I'll be right back." She says, "Congratulations."

"Thanks." She says softly as she wipes the gel off and pulls her shirt back down. She spends a little bit of time just staring at her little peanut still up on the monitor and nearly jumps out of her skin when her phone rings.

"Hello?"

"How are you feeling?" Francis asks and she makes a face. Someone better _not_ have told him before she did.

"What?"

"My mother told me you were sick?"

"Oh." She nods, "I'm fine. It's probably just something I ate." God if only he knew where she was right now. "Hey."

"Hello."

"You should visit."

" _You_ should visit." He says softly and she shakes her head, a plane and her terrible morning sickness don't sound like a fun time. Can she even fly? Isn't that bad for pregnant people? She hates that she knows nothing about this stuff.

"Francis, I'm sick." She says softly, "And I need to see you."

"Hm, do you?"

"Yes." She chews at her lip, she needs to tell him soon. She needs him to know so she can talk about it with someone other than three really nosey people.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes?"

"That didn't sound convincing."

"Francis, I'm fine." She says softly, "Just miss you."

"You just saw me a couple weeks ago."

"Six."

"Wow someone's been keeping count."

"Please."

"I'll see what I can do, but I don't know. Don't get your hopes up, okay?" He says softly.

"Okay."

"Get some sleep, you sound tired."

"Sure." And she jumps a little when the door opens again and the doctor comes back, "I gotta go." She says quickly and then she hangs up on him before he can say anything. She hopes that didn't come off suspicious.

"I accidentally printed off an extra one." She says as she hands them over, "I want you back in two weeks, okay? Take it easy."

"Okay."  
"It's still early."

"I know."

"Lots of rest and keep taking those vitamins."

"Yeah." Mary nods, ready to get out of here and take a nap at home. When she's in her car, she sets the pictures down on the passenger seat, still not believing something so small is in her right now and that one day it'll be a full-fledged human that she has to help navigate the world. She wonders if it'll look like Francis, probably. She hopes it has his eyes, those pretty blues that she has no idea where he got them from. Or if it'll look like her, or maybe just a perfect blend of both of them.

She almost takes a picture and sends it to him, but she needs to tell him in person. If she's going to give the man a heart attack, she damn well gonna do it with him in front of her.

* * *

S he sleeps pretty much the rest of the day, waking when it's dark outside. She has a bunch of messages. She opens the group chat first.

 **Kenna:** _"How are you feeling?"_

 **Lola:** _"Yeah how was your appointment?"_

 **Greer:** _"Have you told Francis yet?"_

 **Lola:** _"Probably not."_

 **Kenna:** _"She wants to do it in person."_

 **Kenna:** _"Then we can tell people, right, I'm literally dying."_

 **Mary:** _"It was fine."_ She sends a picture of the ultrasound to them.

 **Mary:** _"Look! It's so tiny."_

 **Greer:** _"Aaawww, I'm so excited."_

 **Kenna:** _"I'm praying it has his hair."_

 **Lola:** _"Same ^"_

 **Mary:** _"Come on, I want my kid to look a little like meeee."_ She sighs as she sets her phone down for a minute and she _just_ closes her eyes when it starts to ring, it's probably Francis. She should get that, but she's too tired to move. She reaches.

"What?"

"I was hoping for a hello, but what works too," Francis says and she can hear the smirk. She stretches, "How are you feeling?"

"Okay."

"Any better than this morning?"

"I'm probably not going to work tomorrow." She says softly, she stretches.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Getting on a plane sounds like a great treatment plan."

"Mary."

"Can't you just sneak away? Just for a day or two?"

"Doesn't work like that, babe." He says softly, "I wish I could, I miss you too." She groans, curling up a little more as she listens to him talk, eventually, she moves to her room and crawls in bed. Giving tiny acknowledgments to whatever he's telling her about. She stopped paying attention a little bit ago, instead started dozing off.

"Mary?" She hears, "Hello? Did you fall asleep on me?"

"A little."

"Rude."

"I'm sleepy." She whines, "and I miss you."

"I know." He says softly, "Go to sleep, I'll see you soon."

"What?"

"What?"

"Francis."

"Byyeee." He hangs up and she's too tired to dwell on it so she goes to sleep.

 _-/-_

The next day, she doesn't talk to him at all which is a little weird. He doesn't answer when she calls him and he doesn't text back like usual. Her stomach twists, did she do something wrong? Does he hate her again? Are they going back to how things were the last few years? The thought nearly knocks the wind out of her. They can't go back to that, she can't do this alone. She tries him all day, but he doesn't return any of her calls and he isn't in a hurry to quiet her worries either so she must have done something really bad.

Did he find out about the baby and he's angry because she didn't tell him? No, he definitely wouldn't cut her out again if he knew there was a child involved.

She works herself up, crying and then puking and then crying again and she's too busy burying her head in the toilet to answer the loud knocking on her door right now.

"It's-" She heaves, "It's open!" She shouts and goes back to spewing what little bit of lunch she forced herself to eat, that remained in her stomach out. She hears keys hit the bowl by the door, heavy feet hitting the floor, heading for her.

"Oh, god you look horrible." Francis' voice is soft as he heads for her, he pulls her hair back.

"Go away." She mutters. "What are you doing here?"

"Mary, I'm not going anywhere." He says softly, kneeling down next to her, he rubs her back.

"It's gross."

"I had to take care of my younger siblings when they were sick, believe me, I've seen worse." He says as he wets a washcloth and brings it to her mouth, he wipes gently. "This contagious?"

"No."

"You sure?" She's _pretty sure._ He pulls her up, uses his foot to flush and then he's tugging her to the couch. "You don't feel warm." He says softly and it reminds her of the time she got food poisoning and her mom was away like she always was, so he took care of her.

"Francis." She says softly, "I'm not sick."

"You're in denial, then." He says, pressing a kiss to her forehead and she rolls her eyes. "I brought some soup, I can heat it up for yo-"

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat-"

"I thought you were mad at me." She says softly, "I've been calling all day."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to surprise you."

"I thought you couldn't-"

"I quit my job." He says it quickly, casually as he covers her with a blanket and heads to the kitchen. "I actually quit several weeks ago, but I had to take care of some things- why are you looking at me like that?"

"You quit your job?"

"Yup."

"But you love your job."

"I love you more." He says softly and she sits up, " _Eh_. Lay down."

"Francis, tell me you didn't do it for me."

"I didn't do it for you." But he did, she can see it on his face and she stands, "Baby, lay _down._ "

"Francis…" She swallows, "No, you can't quit for me."

"I missed you." He says with a smirk, "And my mother surprisingly and all my hotheaded siblings, it wasn't just for you, though you had a lot to do with the decision making." He looks up, "Girl if you don't lay down I-"

"I'm pregnant." He doesn't hear her over the roaring of the electric can opener, she walks over to him, pulls his hand away from it to stop the noise. "Francis."

"What?"

"You're staying?"

"If you'll have me." He says and she smiles, "I did keep the house in Paris, but that's just for vacationing and if you think it's too soon to live together, Bash has an extra room since he mo-"

"I'm pregnant." She says and he stops.

" _What?_ "

"I'm-"

"Don't...tease me, Mary."

"I'm not. I'm serious."

"You're…" He says softly, "Really?"

"Yes." This isn't the reaction she thought she'd get, he just stands there, looking at her like she's insane. And then it hits him, she watches it sink into him, and he smiles. The way she loves, the kind of smile that reaches his eyes and she smiles too. She almost falls over when he grabs her, lifts her off the ground and spins her around.

"I love you." He beams, presses a kiss to her cheek and then her lips, "Mary…"

"What?" She asks softly as he sets her on the counter but doesn't step back.

"We have to get married."

"Okay." She laughs, "I didn't tell your mother yet, I figured if you were with me she'd be a little nicer about it." He laughs as he presses his forehead against hers.

"If she doesn't suspect it already." He says softly, "I can't believe it." He says as his hand finds her stomach, "One down, six to go."

"Francis, _no_." She laughs. He laughs too, pulls her off the counter, helps her steady herself back on the ground.

"Maybe there's two in there."

"I hope not." She makes a face, she's sick enough already, she can't imagine what it would be like if she were having twins. "The thingie only showed one." She says grabbing one from the top of the fridge and hands it to him, he smiles.

"Wow, it's so small."

"I know…" She says softly, resting her chin on his shoulder, "Looks like a little peanut." He sets it down and pulls her back to the couch.

"I love you so much." He whispers and then he's kissing her, long and slow and she probably tastes like vomit but he doesn't seem to care or maybe he doesn't notice. She pulls away.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." She says softly, "I'm just really happy you're back."

"I'm happy to be back." He says pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, "And I'm never ever leaving you again."

* * *

A/N: Thank you, everyone, for reading. I had so much fun writing this, I'm pretty sad it's over. I hope you liked this last chapter.

I'm not done with these two yet, I have some leftover flashbacks that I either scrapped last minute or just didn't have a place for. I'm not sure what I want to do yet. Some of you have asked if there is going to be a sequel, I don't know. Honestly, I'd love to do it, but I just don't know what it'll be about. So, if you have any suggestions, ideas, whatever, don't be afraid to tell me.

Thanks for reading. :)


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